𝙨𝙤𝙪𝙧; joliver

1. jealousy, jealousy

welcome to chapter one. the song "when the party's over" is basically the theme song for this book lol.

(also since every chapter started with a letter last book, this story is gonna have a song start every chapter.)

"All your friends are so cool, you go out every night
In your daddy's nice car, yeah, you're livin' the life
Got a pretty face, pretty boyfriend, too
I wanna be you so bad, and I don't even know you
All I see is what I should be
Happier, prettier, jealousy, jealousy."

- jealousy, jealousy
(Olivia Rodrigo)

[Junior's pov]

[March 14, 2022]

well well well. here we are, are you excited about this because i'm not. the age old question is, 'what the fuck is going on with Junior and Oliver.' it's fucking complicated and i wish it wasn't. i wish things were perfect like Jake and Devon. their perfectness makes me sick, it makes me think 'why can't i have that?'

and i realized that it was because my heart decided to be in love with a self absorbed maniac.

i wish falling out of love was easier than falling in it...

"Junior can you answer number three for me please." the teacher called on me and i snapped out of my thought's. "well um.. C?" i guessed and she smiled, "correct thank you." i sighed in relief. "well that's great i was for sure it was A." Devon said next to me erasing and replacing his answer.

"well if you didn't spend the whole class texting my cousin you would've known." i joked and he rolled his eyes playfully. i lean back in my seat knowing i won't have to worry about the teacher calling on me for the rest of the class.

i remember when i wouldn't give a shit about basically anything. and now i'm careful with everything i say, because i don't want to look stupid in front of him. he was tapping his pencil on his desk all the way across the room. he was far but i could hear everything loud and clear. i tend to tune everything else out when i'm looking at him, like everything in the world is irrelevant when it comes to him. i know i'm down bad but i don't even care, and that's my problem.

is that i don't care. i don't care that Oliver isn't a great person, i don't care that he used to be and still kind of is the biggest fucking asshole to my cousin, and i don't care if he doesn't feel the same way towards me. these feelings aren't gonna go away, i don't want them too.

- - -

"it's our month anniversary!" Gray shouted with shaking hands. "i can't believe you've been dating Oliver for a month already." Jake smiled at his best friend.

yeah. awesome.

Oliver and Gray have been dating since valentines day. i'm happy for them... is what i wish to say but what i really feel is jealousy, from the way they would hug each other in the hallways all lovey to when Oliver would walk Gray to all of their classes. it just makes me want to crawl in a hole and die in all honesty.

"so what are you guys gonna do." Lexy asked them and they smiled, "were just gonna hangout at his house." Gray said still smiling. sick.

(Junior is such a hater i'm sorry 😭)

"are you good June, you look really red." i hear Jake ask me over my thoughts. i let out a breath not realizing i was holding it. "yeah i'm good." i answered and rolled my eyes at nothing in particular, just the thoughts in my head.

Gray continues to ramble on about how amazing Oliver is and Oliver this and Oliver that. i just love how cool everyone is about it though. Jake asked me one time if i liked Oliver and i told no absolutely not and his exact words were.