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Staring at the ceiling has always been an integral part of her life, but tonight it seems to take her interest more than usual. The vast darkness refuses to acknowledge the existence of the solidity before her, despite her knowing it's there. It feels almost metaphorical, the way she had always reached towards a hopeless dream she could not see, but now knew was there. She had seen it in the light, and although now plunged back into nothingness, she is aware of its presence. 

Back home. It was always going to happen. Everything feels familiar, as though all she has just experienced has been some dream and she has finally woken up, back home in bed. The bed that once felt comforting and relieving now feels wrong like she's missing something. 

Smiling and shaking her head in the dark, she rolls over onto her side, attempting to let her mind move off this topic. She opens eyes that had been scrunched tight to stare at the space in front of her, hoping somehow this will be the answer to avoid her mind racing around in circles, a car on a lonely road. 

Between her curtains, a ray of light throws itself onto the floor, the sounds of the night muffled by the window. 

Slowly, she climbs out of bed and pushes aside the curtain, revealing a fairly clear night- the stars above twinkling happily. Galaxies away, a different time zone to here. She stares at the sky as it shows more and more sparkling dots of light above. Contemplating the poetic beauty of how stars are a way of looking into the past, their glimmers of light, the light that travelled for years to get here. Stars that may no longer be shining, dead, but from here, they are still alive. 

Leaning on her window sill, all of the recent stress departs momentarily in a heavy sigh. Carefully, she pushes open her window and inhales the night air, her lungs thanking her for the freshness that she breathes in. 

Somewhere out there, looking at the same moon are the members that y/n spent so long dreaming about. Somewhere, they are still thinking, feeling, talking, and moving. And somewhere out there is the boy who kissed her with the limitless passion of one who has rarely experienced searing love before. She had kissed him back with the same ferocity, she only had one boyfriend before, a teenage romance that was over before it had a chance to begin.  

Y/n has never loved anyone before. Has he? Does he...? Shaking her head, she pulls her eyes away from the sky above and back to the hands that grip her windowsill with a desperation that seems to be unrivalled by anything she has ever felt before. 

Exhaling, frustration that had been building up within her releases, allowing her to breathe better. Shaking her head, she turns away from the window and flops onto the bed, the comforting fabric the only thing keeping her from going insane. How is she supposed to go to sleep with all these thoughts circling around her head?



White light blares from Jungkook's phone screen, which he stares at mindlessly. He can't stop thinking about her. In front of him, a feed of colourful images and videos flash past, none of them successful in interrupting his distracted mind. Even when he scrunches his eyes tightly shut, his brain projects an image of her smiling face behind his eyelids. 

Living without her here will be quite a shift considering the recent events, but Jungkook tries to quieten his regretful and cyclic thoughts in order to look forwards once more. 

At the end of the day, he can always keep in touch with her, or maybe he could simply try to move on? No, that seems impossible at the moment, he couldn't imagine simply forgetting her. As though in slow motion, his fingers swipe across his screen and find their way to her contact. Could he really bring himself to message her? What would she say? Would she even reply?

Reluctantly, he shuts his phone off and places it on the bed, feeling defeated. So many concerts are still to come and yet, the empty feeling occupying his stomach seems to be the only thing Jungkook can concentrate on. Rolling over, he stares at the door that sits on the opposite wall, hoping and praying that against all odds, y/n would be walking through it. 

He can imagine the turn of the handle and the push of wood against the carpet, almost as though the door was really opening. Seemingly out of nowhere, a ray of light spills onto his face, disrupting the eyes that are now shut. With a small exhale, Jungkook pushes his face into the pillow, finding momentary comfort in the softness that gives away for him. 

An amused hum from across the room alerts Jungkook to another person's presence, and for a split second, he lights up with the hope that it could be y/n. 

His eyes land on the figure that had almost silently made their entrance and although disappointed that it is not the silhouette of the girl he came to hold dearly, he is relieved to see his dear friend Taehyung. 

Turning red, Jungkook hopes that Tae has not spotted the glint of hope that had sparked in his eyes only a second ago. Taehyung's eyes move from Jungkook to scan the room briefly. Undisturbed curtains border a window that overlooks the street below, the nightlife bustling and bright. Clothes are organised into piles on the floor and the surfaces remain clear of anything but toiletries. 

In juxtaposition to his expectation, Taehyung notes that the room is fairly tidy and organised. Perhaps this is a contradiction to the chaos that Jungkook normally lives in, maybe he wants to keep some part of his life under control. 

Smiling, Taehyung turns back to Jungkook, holding the offer of food in his outstretched hand. Politely, Jungkook pulls himself off the covers and claims the offering from Taehyung, despite not feeling very hungry. 

Tae pats Jungkook on the arm before turning to leave. The soft click of the door behind him plunges Jungkook back into a state of being alone. 

(1048 words)

Author's Note

Um, so this is VERY overdue, I am sorry. I have been so busy lately. I am currently in the middle of exams, but since I found some free time today, I thought it would be good to finally complete this draft. Thank you sincerely for all the support that you have shown me. I will do my best to earn your support :) Thank you for reading this chapter 💜

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⏰ Last updated: Jul 02, 2023 ⏰

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