Can it be? | Pansy Parkinson

XXX- Lonely Valentines

"I love you guys."

"Love you too."

We walked towards the kitchen that had become our main hanging out place since the start of the year. They sat down on a couch and I slumped down on the other, resting my head back and closing my eyes. I truly hated the coming of Valentine's Day.

"You guys have anything planned for Valentine's Day?"

"We were planning on going together as friends. We're definitely not going to get anyone else," Neville answered.

"Don't say that. You guys are amazing."

"Are you going with anyone?" I knew Luna was mainly asking to stop me from going on a rant about how amazing and worthy of love they were, a speech I had given many times.

"Oh I'm not going."

"What, why? Hogsmead is beautiful on Valentine's Day!"

"It's also full of lovey-dovey couple."

"That just adds to the cuteness and beauty of it." I snorted at that.

"Yeah, sure."

"Do you want us to stay?" I could almost see Neville frowning and put his hand to his mouth like he always did when he proposed something he didn't actually want to do.

"No, no please. You two should go, you actually like it, I never have."

I regretted those words when the 14th came. Pretty much everyone had left, Theo had found a date, Blaise had gone with Pansy and Neville and Luna went together. Harry apparently went with Cho, which surprised me, but she deserved to move on yeah? It seemed I was the only fifth year still at Hogwarts. I didn't actually want to see anyone today anyways, so I walked to the Astronomy tower and sat down, my legs dangling down between the railing. I thought about the one and only Valentine's Day I had actually spent with someone. I had regretted it the day after.I

We were still going to muggle school and I had made a friend, Lucy. She was the only friend I had, but I couldn't hang out with her that much since I always looked after Harry.  I had made her a Valentine's card, it was small and ridiculous, with the worst handwriting anyone would probably ever see, but she had happily taken it. We had gone on a walk together and I picked up flowers for her. I had walked her home after school and kissed her cheek before getting back to the Dursley's. It had been one of the best days of my life. I remembered how giddy I felt as I walked back to the house.

The next day she had told me her parents wanted them to move and that she would leave by the end of the year. She hadn't mentioned why, but from that day on she didn't stay with me anymore, she didn't smile back and she would look away every time I looked at her. She had snuck a letter in my bag the day before she left. '

Thank you for being my friend and giving me the best Valentine's Day ever, Anna. I'm sorry about how I acted, but know that you did nothing wrong. I'll miss you xx     -Lucy' 

I had never seen her again. I never found out what happened to her and it hurt. I was surprised I still thought of her so many times and remembered her letter. I had kept it with me, it was the first letter to my name I ever had. She had been the first person out of my family to talk to me, the first person to approach me in a kind way. Someone sat next to me, but I didn't turn.

"What are you thinking about?" Harry asked.

"You remember Lucy?"

"Of course. You always smiled whenever you were with her."

"What do you think happened to her? I mean, we've changed so much since then, we found out how our parents actually died, you faced death multiple times, we found a family. Who even are we anymore?" I felt my thoughts starting to swirl.

"We're the same we were before. Just more true to ourselves."

"Are we?" He stayed silent and I took a deep breath. I needed to calm my thoughts. "How did the date with Cho go?"

"Not the best, to be honest. I had to meet Hermione after, she was mad at me for that," he said and I laughed.

"Oh Harry, what did you expect? She probably thought you had a date with her."

"Hermione's like a sister to me!" He defended and I turned to him.

"Does Cho know that?" He opened his mouth only to close it again. "You've been around her since first year, Harry. Most people probably expect you two to grow feelings for each other."

"She always talks about Cedric whenever we're together," he said after a while.

"Why?" My eyebrows furrowed as I thought whys could possibly always be talking about him. I mean, sure they dated, but wasn't she trying to go out with Harry now?

"She wants to know what happened that night." He looked so small as he said it, looking down at his hands. "I don't want to talk about it you know? Hell, you know how I was this summer, could barely sleep."

I put my arms around him and pulled him closer to me. He leaned in my touch and I played with his hair. "You don't have to talk about anything you don't want to, Harry. Maybe neither of you are ready to be together too. And that's okay."

"This feels weird." He was still half laying on me as he said that.

"What does?" 

"Just- You giving me love advices. We've never done this before."

"I mean, I never saw it was necessary. Maybe I should've offered you help for the Yule Ball. Maybe you and Ron wouldn't have made such a shitty night for Parvati and Padma," I teased.

"We were pretty awful, weren't we?"

"You were both looking at someone else and you didn't even dance with them." I remembered hearing Parvati rant about how awful it had been to Lavender. I hadn'T interrupted them and we even surrounded Hermione when she came back, looking awful. She had mentioned how Ron had treated her and how bad he had made her feel. It had been a solidarity night between the four of us.

"Gosh, that must have been terrible."

"I found them people who were willing to dance with them." He laughed and pushed himself off of me.

"Thank God for you, then yeah?"

"You should be doing that everyday, Harold," I said with a serious face. He groaned and hid his face in his hands, making me laugh.

"I thought we had left Harold in the past," he whined.

"Oh come on. You ought to know me better... Harold."