#20 | oikawa so nice i crying

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* hi ngh *

[ third person ]

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Even though she knew exactly what she had to do, she couldn't bring herself to outright say it. How do you tell the guy you've been best friends with for the last seven thousand years of your life that you like him romantically while also explaining that to the guy you were potentially going to date?

She felt partially embarrassed to even express her emotions to either of the boys after the way she had acted with home. On one hand, she had been acting so different around Tsukishima to the point where she'd even subtly flex her connection with Oikawa to his face in various ways. On the other hand, she had been complaining to Oikawa about Tsukishima's behavior that probably started all because of her. The thought of being rejected by both of them made her feel small and unable to make the decision to do what was right. They needed to know. They deserved to know. 

To play with their feelings was never her intention from the beginning. The fact that she had even roped Tsukishima into "helping" her learn how to do various things made her feel oddly giddy inside. It was the fact that he was so willing to help that she felt better about the whole thing. A small part of her wanted to assume- even if it was slight to nothing - that he liked her back the way she did. 

To be honest, she was kind of stupid not to realize something important like that long before she had even began talking to Oikawa. 

"[y/n]-chan?" His silky voice filled her eardrums, dragging her out of her trance. The girl swallowed forcibly, spinning around in a hasty manner with a fear-stricken look on her face. His eyebrows rose in a look just shy of curiosity. "Are you okay?"

"I... Um..."She pursed her lips together into a straight line, eyes downcast with guilt. Naturally, her eyebrows knitted together as she tried to piece together the right words to say to him. Now that he was in front of her, her mind felt so scattered and her throat grew dry. 

Oikawa scanned her features before glancing around at the empty park. At first, when she had texted him to come to this specific park alone, his mind had gone in the direction of a confession. Now that they stood across from each other, he could sort of tell this was not the case. 

"Come," he said suddenly. A hand of his was outstretched in her direction, lingering out in front of her until she had the guts to reach out, grasping his calloused palm. His fingers encased her small hand, using gentle pressure to yank her towards him as he started walking off in the direction of god knows where. 

"Where-" She swallowed and glanced around. "Where are we going?" 

"Here." Oikawa plopped himself on the wooden bench he had dragged them over to and yanked her down to sit beside him, sighing in content when they both were seated. Turning his entire body to face her, he nodded. "Go on. You can tell me." 

Just like that, he had broken her guards yet again. Oikaw Tooru was a man written by the gods with so many flaws that it made flaws look oh so perfect. He knew he wasn't perfect and was able to see that within others, giving them the benefit of the doubt that many people failed to give. He knew just what to do or say to make someone feel comfortable enough to talk with him, getting them to trust him enough with whatever they had to say. He was perfectly imperfect, and that's what made him so perfect for this situation. 

The encouraging smile on his face and the complete undivided attention he gave her helped coax the girl into opening up after she had frozen up on the spot. The comfort she felt around him was unmatched in the sense that he could manage to make her feel safe enough to say whatever was on her mind without worrying about a negative outburst. 

"Oikawa-kun, I... I think I like Kei." 

The awkward minute of silence between them made her visibly sweat. Oikawa's expression shifted multiple times; none of them were an actual decipherable emotion whatsoever. Then all of a sudden, he smiled as a chuckle slipped past his parted lips. 

"I could tell." He shrugged, resting his arm on the bench behind her. "I was waiting for you to either date me or confess to him instead. Looks like you went with the latter."

She frowned, guilt welling up inside the pit of her stomach, churning so disgustingly painfully. "I'm sorry." 

Oikawa chuckled, leaning froward to cup her face. He held her cheeks and forced her to look him in those pretty brown eyes she had once loved so much. "[y/n]-chan! Why are you sorry? You're sorry your feelings exist?"

Shaking her head to break free from his hold, she looked down at her lap. "No, I just... feel bad." 

"Don't. Yeah, I'm sad you chose a stupid, lanky, blond, pasty, terrible middle blocker over me - an amazing team captain, pro setter, handsome, sexy, charming boyfriend material - but I'm not mad at you for it. If dating that shitty- uh, dorky kid puts a smile on that pretty little face," he ran the back of his hand along her cheek tenderly, staring down at her with such loving eyes. "I'm okay with that." 

The amount of passion in his words and actions as he spoke made her grow flustered, mind jumbled with thoughts of self-restraint. Oikawa was too good at this, I swear.  

Turning back to Oikawa, she flashed him a small smile as a look of relief washed over her features. "You have no idea how happy that made me. Thank you, Oikawa-kun. You're always going to be someone special to me."

She threw her arms around his neck, engulfing him in a tight hug that was well deserved. The boy leaned into the hug, burying his face in the crook of her neck. A playful sigh left his lips. "If only I could be your boyfriend."

[y/n] pulled back, smiling sadly at him. "Thank you for everything."

"You're very welcome." Oikawa's eyes flickered down then back up before he leaned in, placing a quick kiss on her lips before pulling back for real. The girl sat there, stunned and flustered. "Goodbye kiss."

A tad sad she had to end things this way, [y/n] stood up with a small nod. "Bye, Oikawa-kun."

"See you around, [y/n]-chan." Oikawa stood up, taking a step away from her with a raised hand as he waved at her. "Call me up if you get bored of that megane. I don't mind anything if it's you!" 

He stuck out his tongue in a playful manner, walking away from the girl who laughed at his joke. Truthfully, she had no intention of using Oikawa as a rebound. He was much too good to be used for something like that. 

She pivoted on her heels, whipping out her phone to text the boy she hadn't spoken to in a while. Now that things were officially over with Oikawa, she had to sort things out with the blond. This was the hard part. She thinks that, anyway.

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[ a/n : tbh i'd leave tsukki for oikawa. mans is just so sweet in this book that i wanna date him instead. anyway, i hope y'all have been doing okay. me busy with school and work but im trying my best <3 ily guys ]

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