In the Shadow of the Mockingjay - Haymitch Abernathy x Niece Reader

Chapter 1

Where was I supposed to go now? Gale was the only one I could turn to after all. Absentmindedly I began running through the seam. I was sick of all of it!

On the way back later on I accidentally bumped into a person falling to the ground. To my horror it was an unfamiliar peacekeeper. Just now I realized the state district 12 was in. The black market had been burned, the little we had still left taken from us. Chaos had spread throughout the entire seam.

In a panic I hurried through the crowd of people before the man could react on my carelessness. 

Suddenly I heard a familiar voice scream. Hesitantly I approached it but was petrified when I realized that Gale was being whipped. I had to do something! Anything!

Katniss was faster. She dared to place herself between Gale and the peacekeeper and took the hit for it. Maybe she was not that bad after all. At least she protected the people she cared about, not like me. We were both some kind of death angels. Without intending to the people around us always appeared to be in danger and misery.

But Katniss was in serious trouble now. Peeta came to support her followed by Haymitch. 

Rage and envy rose inside of me. I could not help but wonder if Haymitch would have cared to help me out if I had been quicker to help Gale than Katniss. Most likely not.

Carefully I followed the victor trio as they brought Gale to Victor's Village. As I feared that anyone might spot me I hid inside Haymitch's house while they were treating Gale in Katniss'.

Unfortunately Haymitch returned after a while and was not happy to see me at all.

"What are you doing here?", he growled at me.

"Never mind. I'm already leaving", I mumbled passing him.

He grabbed my arm roughly. "I don't want to have you around, got that? Stop coming to my house! Don't check on me or anything else! Just leave me alone!"

I gritted my teeth and buried my nails in my palms to keep control over myself as my emotions threatened to overpower me.

"If you want me to leave so badly, you should consider to let go of my arm", I shot back.

Haymitch accompanied me to the door, perhaps to make sure that I had really left. Unfortunately Peeta spotted me, when I left the house.

"Oh, hi. I think we haven't met before. I'm Peeta, but you already know that, right?" He chuckled abashed.

"I'm ..."

"(f/n)", Haymitch interrupted me. "An acquaintance. But she wanted to go now anyway."

His words hurt more than anything he had ever said to me before. I hurried to get away from the victors before I could do anything I would regret later on.

There was no place I could go to. No one I could turn to. Gale was suffering and I could not even be by his side because I could never compete with Katniss anyway. And how should I face Hazelle without being able to tell her anything specific about Gale's state?

Curfew was going to start soon. So I had to get into a building. Going "home" was my only option. 

I told Hazelle everything I knew before going to my sleeping place. I turned to face the wall to prevent anyone from seeing my tears. They should worry about Gale and not about me.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

A painful emptiness had settled inside of me on the day he had banned me from his house. I had not told Gale. Burdening him with my problems was not an option for me anymore.

Today was the day of the ridiculous reaping of the Quarter Quell. By now Haymitch should be sitting inside the Capitol's train, while I was walking through the woods outside of district 12. I had decided to leave and today was the perfect timing for it as everyone was busy with the Quarter Quell.

For a moment I caught myself wondering who was our male tribute for the 75th Hunger Games, but it did not matter. Haymitch had not wanted me to be part of his life anyway. So why should I waste a thought on it?

My destination was district 13. I only assumed that it still existed. So my plan might fail, but in the end I did not care if I died. There was no one who wanted me to live after all despite the Hawthorne's. But they would forget me quickly with everything going on. Gale would be focused on Katniss, whether she died or survived. Because if she survived Peeta would be dead giving Gale a chance to win her over. And if she died, her death would overshadow my disappearance.

Actually a huge part of me simply wished to die on the way to end this excruciating pain inside of me. But there was still a small part inside of me keeping me to move forward, hoping that there would be a place for me to belong, a person who cared about me the most, that those people had not all died on my birthday sixteen years ago.

For the next days this small light of hope kept me going. Unfortunately it was not enough to give me the feeling that my life was worth ending others. So I did not eat any animals, just a few plants I recognized on the way.

Tha tobviously took a toll on my body and mind. My vision was blurry and my body shaking from overexertion. I felt my body crumble underneath me and hitting the ground.

Was this the end? Was I finally going to die?

A strange feeling of relief spread inside of me. At least it would all be over now.