✓ room 143. [ni-ki]

twenty five

"Don't. I don't want any blood pack anymore, i don't want any injection anymore, i-i don't want to do anything anymore Dr kang.." Haneul said, forcing to talk. Trying her best to let out a sound from her throat.

She hardly can talk, her throat feels tight, its suffocating her.

"B-but if we don't transfer the blood in y-you right now, you will fall unconscious. There will be no enough blood for your heart to pump it to your whole body, and no oxygen will be enough-

"I'll be fine.."

Haneul whispered, with that her eyes closed.

"I don't want to lose you yet, not now" Dr Kang said, pushing the emergency button in Haneul room. Quickly nurses rushed into the room, bringing extra blood.

"Sorry Haneul, we have to save you" Dr Kang said, injecting the blood inside her.

-

Beep beep beep

Again, with the sound of monitor beeping.

I thought its the end

But why?

Why?

Why do they want me to live?

They didn't feel what i felt, they weren't the one who feel the pain, they weren't the one who suffering with it...

So why..

Why didn't they let me go?

I had enough already .

Slowly Haneul open her eyes, got it blinded for a second by the sun. She deeply sighed looking at the packet of blood that hang on the pole, that is currently connected inside her.

The injection on her skin.

Is hurt.

Its hurting her hand.

So she cried, feeling all numb.

She move her hand and took off the oxygen mask from her face , and then sit up from her laying position . Even when she feels dizzy and weak, she still try her best to keep her mind focus.

She then harshly pull out the blood injection that attached on her arms, then throw it away.

She look outside the window, and smile sadly seeing the sky before she decide to stand up on her feet , and walk toward her medicine tray.

Her legs are trembling. She's still in her weak state since she just wake up from her unconscious world but yet, she is forcing herself to stand up, forcing herself to walk, which lead her to hurting herself even more.

She look at all her medicine and smile,

"I will never get cured, so what is the point in living? To suffer more? I have been living here for my whole life. I have never know what happened outside the world, i know nothing about the world except the hospital. I can't even be together with someone i like, i will just going to hurt him"

Haneul angered out, with endless tears flowing down her cheek. She grip tights on her medicine bottle before deciding to open it.

"I had enough. I don't want to live anymore. This hospital is suck , well thanks for making me live for some time, thanks for surviving me. Thanks for everything, even though its all just... a wasted"

With that, she took out a lots of pills from different medicines. She shove it all on her mouth and chugged down a lots of water.

She open, more and more bottle of her medicines. She eat it all, finishing every pills from her 23 bottle of medicines.

"Call me crazy for this, call me selfish for this. I don't care. There's no used anymore, i won't be cured. Everything is a wasted and it need to stop. This medicines, here i finished it all. So it wouldn't be a wasted when i die"

Haneul smile, crazily before she fall on her knees.

And at the same time, Dr Kang walk in.

"Haneul, are you awake- Oh my God! Haneul, are you alright?" Dr Kang asked, while holding Haneul and lead her to her bed.

Haneul just smile bitterly,

"Im fine, thank you for saving me. Even when i said, you don't have to"

"I don't u-understand Haneul.. Its my job to save my patient and plus, didn't you said you want to live?"

"I want to live. But not anymore, i give it some thought, and think how im just living and dying at the same time. Its.. Tiring" Haneul sighed

"Haneul, you will get cured, there's miracles so there's hope"

"You never understand how i feel Dr Kang. Its hurt, its dying. My arms with all the injection is hurt, do you know that? But yet, i never see any improvement of me curing, it feels like there's no chance.. And yet you all still holding me on.. " Haneul said, with cracking tones.

"Haneul.. Don't give up please.."

Haneul look at Dr Kang, and grinned.

"Please.. Let me go"

Haneul whispered, making Dr Kang cries, while shooking her head couple times.

"No Haneul, i won't let that happen.."

"Please.."
Haneul said, feeling emotionless.

"Haneul..."

Then out of sudden, someone burst inside Haneul room.

Both Haneul and Dr Kang then turn to see who it was..

"Nishimura.."

"Oh hi Dr Kang, can i talk to Haneul in privately?"