𝟑𝟎 𝐃𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐃𝐞𝐚𝐥

~~ 90. ~~

"Bye." He said to her, watched her drag her bags away, and then turned back to the door before walking into the small house.

Just as he was stepping into the house, he saw Lola approaching from a corner of the house which he was certain was the kitchen. He wasn't sure if she knew he was there. But the moment she came fully into the room looking up at him, he became certain that she knew he was there because she did not seem surprised.

But the look on her face surprised him.

She looked like she had been grieving. Guilt was written all over her face. She seem like she was self-loathing and he wondered why. It made his face scrunch into a frown. Why would she hate herself for something she has no power over? Moreover, he was the wrong one here and he ought to be in that position.

There was also the way she was looking. She seem withdrawn and tired like she was exhausted from something. Her eyes have bags under them and they were obvious. Her eyes were red and a bit swollen like they used to be whenever she had cried too much. And she seems thinner than before. Or was it his eyes playing tricks on him?

No, he was sure. She had lost some weight.

Was it the result of his ignorance or his nonchalance?

Did he cause her so much pain with his action? 

Is this what he caused by being inconsiderate of her insecurities?

The realization hit him like a stab in the heart.

He hurt the woman he loves.

It was the last thing he want but he couldn't help but to feel like he caused it all. He caused all of her pain.

"Dem-Demilade..." Lola's quiet and sad voice woke him from his reverie.

Lola couldn't feel any less guilty when she saw Demilade. It took everything in her to be standing in front of him. It was really hard for her, looking at him, facing him after how she acted. After everything she did.

He even had to be the one that came to apologize first when it was supposed to be her.

She was the villain here. The immature and stupid one. She let her heart speak louder than her head. She just gives him a reason to believe she was nothing more than a kid for how she behaved.

She saw how his face contoured to a deep frown and he seem to be lost in whatever trance he was in the moment his eyes laid on her. And it hit her like a heavy storm.

Guilt.

That was exactly what she was feeling. So much guiltiness.

"I'm so sorry, Demilade." She burst into tears, cutting Demilade by surprise. She felt angry at herself that she had to cry at that moment. But it was hard to control it. Seeing Demilade watch her with a frown on his face reminded her of the stupid things she said, the accusation she made, and of hurting him.

Demilade attempted to get closer to her, surprised that she was crying and as well confused as to why she was apologizing when it should have been the other way around.

He took a step, moving closer to her but she raised a hand to stop him, also shaking her head continuously. And he had to stop. He didn't want to make it harder for her.

But it was harder on his side as he just have to stand, watching her cry her eyes out in his presence, and couldn't do anything more than just watch her.

It was eating him up watching her cry and knowing he was exactly the reason why she was in that state. He fisted his hand into a ball, almost drawing blood from his palm.