𝟑𝟎 𝐃𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐃𝐞𝐚𝐥

~~ 89. ~~

"Calm down dear. Let's talk this out..."

"I...I.." She cried harder.

"Stop crying, Lola," Ibukun said getting frustrated by the second. It was like she was on a death roll with the intensity she was crying. "What is it?"

"I... I am... I am so stupid IB. I..." She cried raising her head to look at her friend. "I am so so so stupid. I.. I... I have just been..... God... I am an... I am an idiot." She cried bitterly on her hand.

Ibukun totally gets what she was talking about. And she felt her pain. She had literally been working herself out for something that wasn't true. She had put her relationship and emotions at stake because she had been quick to jump to conclusions. She had let her emotions speak for her instead of her brain.

She was partly to be blamed for it. When Lola told her what happened after all the long persuasion, she told her to look into it more. She even asks her to talk with her fiancé about it. She should confront him about it. That she needed to face it. But she refused. The emotional state she was in made her had a change of heart. It made her believe she might be right. And she had never been one to support a cheating partner no matter who the person was.

She shouldn't have given her room to go that far. She should have stood on her words making sure she wasn't wrong and she confirm what she saw. And if she had, all of this won't be happening.

Fortunately, the man she was scared of losing was more scared of losing her and he would do anything just to speak with her.

"Tiwalola..." She spoke to her calmly. "You're not stupid... It's not your fault. You just assume the wrong thing. It was a mistake..."

"A mistake that I could have avoided." She wept. "I could have... I could have been more mature and reasonable... I wasn't... I am not IB. I am so... cruel and... Stupid. I feel like the dumbest person right now. How could I... I... I was... Oh God... I'm such a fool." She wept harder.

Ibukun doesn't even have a clue about what to say anymore. At that moment she was short of words. She had never been in a situation to console someone that was in such an emotional situation. It happened for the first time when Lola came to her house that day of the incident. For long minutes, she doesn't even know what to say to comfort her. She had to call Ada. And she tried her best to console her.

If the case had been the other way around, it would have been easier. She always sees Lola as the strongest one among them. If it happened to be the other way round, Lola would have the perfect word, the perfect trick to console her. She was good at that. She was more motherly and sympathetic than any of them.

But that wasn't the case. Her strong friend was in the situation. And she got to do what it takes to make her believe she made a mistake and there was no crime in it. She had learned once, she would make sure it never happen.

She pulled her for a bear hug. That was the only thing that she could think of at that moment.

Lola leaned her head on her friend's shoulder and she cried even harder feeling more guilty than ever. She remembered that Ibukun had warned her about the quick decision she made. Most especially the fact that she should never have dropped her ring and she should have listened more to Demilade instead of jumping to a quick conclusion.

But she never did. She had been strong-headed, insisting that he was cheating on her.

She felt heartbroken, stupid, and worst of it all, she felt selfish and immature.

Ibukun soothed her friend on the back, assuring her in the only way she can. She patted her head and back simultaneously while she keep telling her it wasn't her fault...that it was a mistake and it was all going to be fine.

"What if... What if he doesn't want me...again..." She cried, raising her head while asking her friend. Ibukun stared at her. "What if I lose him because... of my," She burst into fresh tears. "What if I lose him because of my stupidity? I'd accused him twice... I even... " She remembered those words she had said to him and it brought more sad tears.

She had been thinking she was the wrong one. She was cheated upon by the man she love. She never even gave him the benefit of the doubt. She was quick to judge. And that was because she had always had her suspicion.

A wrong suspicion.

And now she might had ruin everything. Maybe Demilade was mad at her. Maybe he hates her for not even believing him. She could still remember that look on his face when she took off her ring. She remembered clearly the look of sheer disbelief and heartbreak that was written all over his face. She had thought it was just regret after realization of what he had done. But now it makes perfect sense.

The woman he love and trust and was ready to spend the rest of his life with was so cruel not to even believe him and hear him out. She thought less about him. She won't even give him a chance to prove himself. And to make matters worst, she took off one of the most price possessions that he gave to her and returned it to him. She returned what serve as their symbol of love.

How could she not have thought he might have never done it or that maybe she tried seducing him? She should have trusted him better. She was his girlfriend. But she was such a bad girlfriend. She was thinking about just herself at that moment.

She blocked everyone out because she does not want anything that will remind her of him. That was the extent she went.

And it was all for nothing. She had been punishing herself for nothing. And worst, she'd broken the heart of the man who love her and trusted her.

She really hopes he could forgive her and her stupidity.

She wondered how he was feeling.

It must hurt so badly.

Most especially the fact that she hurt Demilade when he was innocent. That was the height of it. She needed to apologize.

But how?

How will she do it when she had blocked everyone out and refused to listen to anyone? Who was going to listen to her now? Who was going to help her beg him?

And will he ever want to see her?

She had doubted him, she gave him back his ring - her ring. She never return his call, ignored and hide from him for almost a month when their introduction was just two months away.

If she was in his shoe, will she still want to have someone like her? Will he still want to have a fiancée that doubts him even when he was saying the truth?

She hoped he can. She hope he forgive her because even if she might be angry, she still love him and that was why it hurt so much. Knowing the man she loves and was ready to get married to and cheat on was hard to accept. It hurt her deeply. Just like the saying, it's only a heart that is love that could get broken.

But she had come to realize that he never even cheated on her. And she had been the one to wrong him by not believing him and acting immaturely.

"It's going to be fine Lola. We will find a way. I know Demilade still loves you and he would understand. He will." Ibukun assured her, stroking her back gently. "It is going to be dear. I promise."