Double Black

shopping bag holder

They figured out the details of the bet later, right before falling asleep. If Chuuya managed to make at least half of the callers think that they were actually speaking to Dazai, it'd be his victory. In this case, Chuuya could take Dazai with him during one of his fancy shopping trips, and use Dazai as the designated bag-holder. However, if he failed to successfully pretend to be Dazai, the latter was off bag-holding duty for a whole year. Due to these outcomes, it was obviously a very important bet now.

The next morning, the pair woke up around their usual time and sat down for breakfast, courtesy of Chuuya, of course. Since Chuuya had the day off from his job, he'd be spending the whole day being Dazai and doing his work. usually, the mafioso wouldn't agree to such a thing. But well, he's been wanting to go on a shopping trip for a while now. He could definitely carry all his bags around using his gravity manipulation, but having his lanky husband do the job was funnier and more amusing.

They also agreed that Chuuya would take all the calls on speaker. However, if Dazai snickered at any point of time and gave the whole thing away, it would automatically be Chuuya's victory. It was a very important bet, okay! Anyway, today actually happened to be the annual paperwork-updating day. Dazai was sure to expect a lot of calls.

The first one to call was the Agency's resident doctor, Yosano. The phone went off when Double Black were still sitting at their breakfast bar. Chuuya gave the other a look before pulling the phone towards him, and answering it on speakerphone.

He chirped, "Good morning, Yosano-sensei~ Such a beautiful day to commit a double suicide, isn't it?"

The woman snorted from the other end of the call, "Shut up already. Anyway, have you filled the medical records for this year yet? It's due today, you know?"

Chuuya shot his partner a glare before turning back to the phone, "Ehh, didn't I fill one last year? Nothing's changed since then, so do I really need to-"

Yosano cut him off with an annoyed sigh, "Yes, you do need to fill it out again. Send it in before the end of the day. See you later."

The hall hung up at that; the doctor clearly knowing not to expect a decent answer from her co-worker. Chuuya turned to his partner immediately and threw a crumpled up tissue at him, "You still haven't filled the medical records?! Jeez, at least be a little considerate towards your doctor!"

At this point, the duo were relocating to the couch in the living room, making themselves more comfortable. Dazai sprawled over his partner, "Ehhh, but it's so mundane and boring. Oh I know! Chuuya should fill it for me! You know all my medical details, right?"

Well, Chuuya has clearly known this bastard too long to be able to predict the bullshit that comes out of his mouth. But what was more annoying was the fact that Chuuya already had Dazai's laptop opened, his fingers actively trying to find the medical records file in his email.

The mafioso scoffed, "Already on it, asshole. Now, what's your blood type?"

Dazai gasped dramatically, still sprawled over the other, "Chuuya! You don't know my blood type?!"

Chuuya tilted his head, "Am I supposed to know it?"

The dramatic detective frowned, "Isn't it obvious! How can you not know your own husband's blood type, Chuuya! How preposterous. What if I were to get into an accident and on my death bed and the only way to save me was to get a blood transfusion. Nobody else can know my blood type, so they would definitely call my emergency contact. Imagine my emergency contact doesn't know my blood type! It'll be all your fault if I die in the scenario!"

It was now Chuuya's turn to frown. He pulled his shitty partner closer and pressed a kiss on top of his head, "Asshole. Don't joke about things like that. Besides, I'm just kidding; of course I know your blood type, you O-negative fucker."