Solstice Souls

Confessions of the Heart

Lan Zhan POV

Lan Zhan had been pushing away every thought pertaining to Wei Ying's injury until now. He couldn't bear the thought of that beautiful body being harmed in any way, but to see Madam Yu inflict the full wrath of her Zidian upon a meek and submissive Wei Ying...he had so many questions filling his mind.

Those silver eyes were watching him with a mixture of pain and concern, but only when Wei Ying lifted his hand to touch Lan Zhan's face, was he brought out of his spiraling thoughts. His eyes fell upon a forgotten bottle of powder, and he remembered the reason he had been looking for his husband-to-be.

Wei Ying had a lot of explaining to do.

Lan Zhan could not keep the sharpness out of his voice when he demanded it. But that single word brought fear into those lovely eyes, and for just a second, Lan Zhan regretted his tone.

"Wei Ying said, this is our safe place." Lan Zhan stared at him meaningfully, hoping to convey that mostly, to reassure this lovely man that he could say anything here, and it would be safe for him to do so. These words were gentler.

Wei Ying closed his eyes.

Lan Zhan hoped he wasn't falling asleep or pretending to, just to avoid this conversation, because Lan Zhan was not above shaking him awake right now. But just as he was about to reach for him, those silver eyes snapped open with determination.

"You're right. I did say that, and I meant it." He took a deep breath. "What do you want to know?"

There were too many things: why was Wei Ying being punished? Why had he not defended himself? Why was he keeping it a secret? And this one hurt the most, why had he lied in order to go to that woman in the first place?

Perhaps this would be easier to understand if he knew how it began.

"Start at the beginning. Why does she punish Wei Ying?" Lan Zhan kept his eyes on Wei Ying, but he let his fingers entwine with those sun kissed ones, wanting to offer his strength.

A part of him felt whole and connected through this small touch, as if it was a balm to the fear and pain he was suppressing until now. But he would not allow himself to examine his own feelings until Wei Ying told him everything. Years of meditation and discipline were coming in useful right now, so he could focus with a single mind.

"I...if I tell you everything...some of it, no...most of it is... painful. I don't want to hurt you, Lan Zhan."

There was desperation in those mercurial eyes, shifting between pain and worry.

Lan Zhan lifted their joined hands up to his lips and kissed the back of Wei Ying's hand. He watched the change, as those eyes burned with a silver flame. There would be time for that later, but right now, Lan Zhan wanted him to open up, to relieve his mind, and it wasn't getting across. He sighed internally, wishing once more that he had his brother's gift for loquaciousness. He searched for the right words, grateful for Wei Ying's patience with him.

"Wei Ying should say everything. Better for here," he placed a palm on that warm skin over his heart, "and here." He touched a finger to Wei Ying's temple.

Wei Ying rose up and climbed into his lap, pressing his chest against him. His arms wrapped around his neck.

"I can't do it if you're looking at me. Is this okay?"

It was more than okay.

"Mn. But...pain?"

"Huh? Oh, you mean my chest? Don't worry, your robes are cool and it actually feels great."