Destiny

17. Loosing Hope

It carried good news. Sumithra was getting married and the boy's name was Hari Prasad. He was a sales engineer in Bombay, and Sumithra insisted that Anupama attend the wedding.

For a moment she forgot her own troubles in her happiness for Sumithra. And then she realized that she could not go for the wedding. It would only give people an opportunity to talk about her.
She remembered a day, long ago, when she had dropped in unexpectedly at Sumithra's house.

They were hoping to finalize an alliance for Sumithra, and her mother had been extremely upset to see Anupama. She felt that with Anupama there, Sumi was sure to be rejected.

Then, her beauty had threatened her best friend's happiness. Now, her skin problem would cast a shadow over the ceremony, for she was sure some of the orthodox people there would say, 'Why did you invite this girl for such an auspicious occasion?'

Anupama did not have the strength to cope with such stinging remarks.
Though Sumi was like a sister to her, she decided not to attend the wedding. But later that night, she prayed for Sumi's happiness: Let your husband be a man who will only shower happiness and love on you.

It is better to have an understanding husband than one who is merely handsome and wealthy.

Marriage is a gamble. The result cannot be predicted beforehand. Finding the right match is a matter of chance. I was unlucky in this. May you be more fortunate.

Anupama mused. . .sooner or later her sisters would also get married and go away to start their own families. They would have a companion to share their joys and sorrows, and they would have children. But her own life would be as silent as a graveyard.

She wondered where she had gone wrong. Why was she being punished? Was there no escape from this ordeal? It seemed as though even God had turned a deaf ear to her prayers.

There was still no word from Anand.
Was he, perhaps, too unwell to write? Or, had he sent his reply to Sunaina's address? Should she ask Sunaina to redirect all her letters to the village? No, that would be a futile exercise. But then she remembered that in her letters to Anand she had written the correct return address at the back of the envelope. She thought of Dr Desai who had brought them together.

Though he was now in Delhi he would certainly know where Anand was and what he was doing. Should she subject herself to the humiliation of asking a third person for her husband's address? Anupama was well aware that the relationship between husband and wife was an intensely private one. But now, circumstances had forced her to ask an outsider for help. Anupama cast aside her doubts and wrote to Dr Desai.

Late one evening, when Anupama was alone at home, there was a knock on the door. Sarita had gone to the temple, her father had gone to the market, and her sisters were at a neighbour's house to attend some function. Anupama was only too aware that she was no longer welcome on auspicious occasions, and even when people invited her she refrained from going anywhere.

When Anupama opened the door, she saw two men standing outside. They looked Anupama up and down, as if they were examining her, and she felt extremely uncomfortable. 'Please come inside. Appa will be returning any minute now,' she said, and brought them some water to drink.

The older of the two asked her, 'Are you the eldest daughter?'

'Yes,' she replied. When the strangers did not say anything further, she went into the kitchen.

When Sarita returned home and saw the visitors, she grew visibly excited. She went inside and asked Anupama, 'What did you offer them? Do you know who they are? They are our Nanda's prospective in-laws!'

She happily hurried away to prepare some snacks for them.
Anupama slipped away to her room, knowing that Sarita would not want her around the guests.

Satish arrived a few minutes later with Diya and Riya in tow. Diya quietly went to help her mother in the kitchen.
'I'm sorry I was not at home to receive you properly. We did not know you were coming today. Please stay with us tonight. I wanted to meet you earlier and fix the date of the marriage, but there were some problems and I was held up.
What will you have tea or coffee?'

The old man gestured to him to stop. The other person who was his brother said, 'Masterji, we just happened to be in the neighbourhood, so we came to see you. We cannot stay for dinner as we have to go back soon.'

They had tea and Satish then accompanied them to the bus-stop.
Sarita spent the next few days preparing for her daughter's wedding. Her standard response to anything that needed to be done for Anupama's wedding had always been, 'It is beyond our reach.'

But for Diya's wedding, she did not spare any expense. Anupama sighed. She had found a husband who was far above anything she had aspired for. But he had slipped out of her reach.