Devon's POV
I drummed my fingers on the table nervously. Uncertain about how to bring up that girl. I mean like, yes we did eat breakfast and all but we haven't even discussed her. Who was she? How'd she even get our address?
More importantly, what the hell was her relationship with Julio?
I sighed and ran a hand through my hair.
Julio looked up at me, concern was written all over his face. "Devon?"
Damn him.
No.
Fuck him.
Maybe even literally.
I hummed in response, trying not to make any sort of eye contact with him.
"You look," he paused. "conflicted."
"I am," I said finally getting the guts to look up at him in the eye. Julio was about to say something but I continued speaking. "Julio, who was she? You're on my mind all the time and I can't even focus anymore. You being in the same bedroom with me just frustrates me so much. I just want you to be mine and only mine. I've been waiting so long for this to happen a-and it's finally happening. I can't even remember who I used to talk to all day everyday before I met you. You made me fall for you. But then you got a girlfriend.
I took a break from YouTube because of that. I couldn't do anything. I stood at the void of rejection and sadness for a very long time and I just don't even know what to say. I really want to hug you and keep you here with me. But you were gone. Julio, you don't understand. You have me confused and conflicted with myself. I've talked to Dul, Jordan, and Will about it. And it's just-" I let out a frustrated groan.
"Devon," Julio started but I just shook my head.
"Please, just let me talk for a little longer." He nodded his head as I continued. "Youre still with Haydin. You just cheated on her with a GUY. I won't be able to forgive myself because I know what heartbreak is and feels like. I know what it feels like to be cheated on. I don't want to be the reason why you and Haydin break up. It's going to be all my fault and you'll also be heartbroken then I'll never forgive myself. I don't even know how I got to this subject but I'm just really jealous of that girl coming over and asking for you. Who was she? Do I know her? Her voice is annoying. But how'd she get our address?"
Julio sighed and got up from the table. My heart was racing and I became nervous. I gathered the plates and put them in the sink, most likely going to do the dishes later. I heard the jingle of keys as I heard the front door being swung open followed by the storm door creaking opening.
Before I heard the front door shut. Julio said in a strained voice,"I'm going out."
With that the door shut, and I was left there speechless by the sink.
I held myself over the sink with my two arms, along with all my weight. I rocked on my feet.
My heart was beating faster than before. More than I've ever known or remembered. I just threw my heart out on him and he left. Julio left.
One of my closest friends left.
He left.
My crush left.
Julio left.
I could go after him, but I have no idea where he is going. I'm a mess. Without Julio I'm a mess. I dropped onto the floor, with my back against the sink. My right knee was up and my left extended. My arm rested on my knee.
Maybe he'll be back later.
Yeah. Julio would be back later...
------
It's been two days and Julio isn't back. I've tried texting him, calling, direct messaging on Twitter and instagram.
I sat down on my desk chair and went onto the Cube TS.
"Devonnnnnn!" Dul greeted.
"Devon joined? Aye!" I heard Graser say.
I chuckled a painful one.
"Well. Bayani is on mute right now and Will is at his place just for visiting so we know exactly what their doing," H chimed in.
Everyone laughed.
"So anyways, where's tomahawk and how's it going?" Parker asked, happily (per usual).
I stayed silent, wishing quietly that everyone would ignore the question and continue onto another subject.
"Devon," Dul said quietly. She was like a sister to me. "You're scaring me, what happened?"
"Hey buds what'd I miss?" I heard Brayden greet.
"Aye! Well Devon just came on," Graser answered.
I took a deep somewhat audible breath and talked really fast, nearly slurring all of my words. "I poured my heart out to Julio and he left. I haven't seen him in two days. I'm really scared about what had happened to time and really guilty. I don't even know if he like the same gender or anything! He took his car with saying,'I'm going out.' And nothing else. No specification of where he's going!" I let out a frustrated sigh.
"I'm sure he's okay, Julio isn't stupid he has more common sense than all of us," Dul said, somewhat assuring me.
"I mean like," I heard Graser shift in his chair as he spoke. "Sometimes he does lose his shit so we can't-"
"Graser," H said with edge to his voice.
"So there is a possibility of tomahawk-"
"Graser!" H nearly screamed.
"What? I'm just stating the facts!" Graser defended himself.
I rubbed my face and put my head down onto my computer desk. "I'm just really hoping that Julio is safe. That we get everything smoothened out. That we have our communication back. And that it's not awkward at all."
"Devon, Julio will be fine and okay. He gets mad sometimes and that's okay. He gets annoyed and irritated all the time and has to take a break for a few hours. Julio is fine and okay," Dul assured me.
And all I could hope for is that he is fine and okay. Also safe.
_----------------_
A/N
Hey guys! Shipper of devondoestomahawk!
I'm really sorry for not updating very frequently and all but I have an update schedule now!
I'll be updating every other day except for weekends.
Monday- Arranged
Tuesday- Nada
Wednesday (today)- Moving in
Thursday- None
Friday- Separated Survival (which I still have to get to work on)
Hopefully I'll keep to this and update weekly.
Thanks for reading ILYA
~_Fangirl_1001_ ^.^
