Insecure

Chapter 10

Chapter 10

"Alright, you may pack up, class." Mr. Staphano takes off his glasses, then wipes his face with his other hand. "Your homework is to read sections six and seven, and take notes. I advise you all to use the questions at the end of each section to guide you into what you need."

I close my book, heaving a tired sigh. Friday's are always the worst because teachers drone on about some useless information, then give us a pile of homework that will last all weekend.

It's only first hour.

The only thing I'm looking forward to is choir and my chance to climb up another level. If Teague said I could do it, then maybe I can make it to the top.

The next few hours are like with Mr. Staphano, but not as dry. I now have two homework assignments and a project that's due in a week.

I groan when I collapse at the lunch table, making Mara jump. A few guys laugh at her, amused by her paranoia, but she turns to with amused smile of her own.

"What's got you in a groaning mood?"

I place my face in my hands as despair washes over me. "I've got enough homework to last a lifetime." I turn my face to look at her, my head still in my hands. "Do you think I have enough time to drop out?"

A few people at the table laugh at my sadness. Over the week, I grew to feel less awkward with them, and even started to join in in the conversation.

The old me would've ran when I saw all these people at my table, but I've grown comfortable in their presence. I still believe that they are all out of my league, especially Mara, who seems to be growing more beautiful everyday.

"We're all gonna go to the movies this weekend to see that new horror movie about that demon thing that haunts this girl ever since she used a ouiji." One of the girls, Terra, a beautiful red headed girl with freckles covering her face, drones on about her plans for this weekend. "Mara, Willow, you guys wanna come?"

Mars instantly agrees, but I hesitate. "I can't. I have to take care of my brothers." It's true. I don't trust leaving them home, even for just a few hours, with my father being there. For the past few days I haven't seen him, luckily for me, because he has been backed up at work. He hasn't even had time to drink.

Terra smiles despite the obvious disappointment, giving me a nod. "That's alright, we can all go some other time."

I lower my eyes, then nod in agreement. Yet, I have a feeling my answer will repeat, that I will be unable to join them in the future.

A sadness churns my stomach as I think about how much my father puts fear into me. He's taken control over my life, and I'm afraid it's too late to take it back.

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"Okay, raise your hands if you would like to try to move up a level?" Five hands shoot up instantly. I glance around, catches Teague's eye. He gives me a look and I sigh, raising my hand.

"Six?" Mr. Hunfilder shakes his head. "I thought moat of you would be more enthusiastic to be at the top. You're teenagers, you'd think they'd be more competitive."

He calls up the first student into one of the back rooms that we use to practice, and I quickly turn to Teague. "I don't think I can do this! I don't know what song to sing. I'm not prepared."

Teague takes my hand, staring into my eyes. I suddenly remember my dream from last night. Teague had complimented me and made me feel special when all the other voices told me the opposite. I blush, deciding to glance at nose so I'm not overwhelmed.

"Song that sing you sang to me," he mutters simply, sitting back.

"What?"

"Sing that song you sang to me at the diner. You sang it beautifully, almost perfect. You don't need to worry about anything, little one." He pats my leg with a wink. "You got this."

"You know, maybe I'll just not do it." I shake my head, and sit back so I'm slumping in my chair. "I'm okay with being in the background."

"You shouldn't be okay with being okay. You're too afraid of being the star that you just settle with being mediocre. Maybe you aren't cut out for the female lead like I thought." He shrugs his shoulders casually and turns to talk the the guy beside him. I'm left dumfounded, my mouth agape.

"What?" Usually I'd feel pathetic, so maybe he's being a good influence on me. Now I just feel like a fire was just ignited. My blood is one fire.

"How dare you say that?" I demand, glaring at his head that quickly swivels to glance back at me.

"Because your not confident. I think that maybe Jamie might be better than you."

"But yesterday you just said I was the best in the class!"

"I guess I was wrong, little one. Maybe you should start practicing being the backup because that's all you'll ever be."

I close my mouth, hurt by his words. I thought he was supposed to make me feel special. He said he'd never hurt me, but now he's saying these things that cut me deeper than my father. Tears sing my eyes, and I turn away from Teague.

I'm going to prove him wrong. I'm not going to let him walk all over me like people have been doing my whole life.

"Willow, it's your turn." Mr. Hunfilder pops out from the back rooms to get me. I ignore Teague as I stand up, and after a thought, start to walk with more confidence and bounce in my steo. I keep my shoulders and chin held high to show that Teague didn't get to me.

"Okay, I'm sure you know about beating the person higher than you and you raise another level?" When I nod, he continues. "How it works, is I scored everyone on their performance, but you're at a zero because you weren't here. So, I shall give you a chance to be scored instead of going up one by one because I think that's fair."

I smile, but the nervous feeling I'm started to get churns in my stomach. Can I do this? "Okay, tell me what I have to do."

"Just sing me a song, and we'll go from there."

And so I sing him the song I sang to Teague, but I add my own flare to make it my own version. I add some vibrato, and some movement to the notes to bring some life to the song.

When I finish, I feel as if I put my whole life into the lyrics. I keep my eyes closed as the emotions are still engraved inside of meKm T. Only when I ca
gaze to Mr. Hunfilder.

"That was beautiful, and considering you put your own spin on it shows how talented you are." He puts a hand on his chin. "However, I believe you still more confidence in yourself. I saw a little spark in you today, but I know there's a fire in you that can be ignited. So before next time, I want you to dig deep and find that confident girl that's hiding in there, alright?"

I nod again.

"Okay, you're at fourth right now, so you'll have to make your way from there."

"Thank you," I whisper, then stride back out to the choir room. Teague is grinning at me, but I give him a glare, which forces his smile to slide right off of his face.

He thinks I can forgive him so easily, then he's wrong. His words cut me like a knife, and it'll take a while before it stops bleeding.