Give Your All to Me

chapter 5

"C'mon! Get the toy! Get it!" Childe laughed as Pasha leaped for the feather on a stick toy. Being a kitten with stubby baby legs, he couldn't quite reach the toy.

Zhongli was uncertain about the sudden adoption of a kitten. He expressed his nervousness multiple times. He'd take care of the kitten as well, but could Childe, when he couldn't bring himself to get out of bed? They had a back and forth discussion about it that nearly escalated into an argument.

But eventually, he saw the way Childe softened and smiled when he played with the kitten. He hadn't really smiled since the loss.

He'd do anything to protect that smile.

"Are you having fun?" Zhongli asked softly.

"Yeah!" Childe said cheerfully, smiling up at his husband.

Zhongli's heart melted. Today was a good day for Childe. He went out to do the shopping mostly by himself. He saw a pregnant person and didn't have a breakdown. He even talked to them about their pregnancy, and how far along they were. He was doing so well. He was really, truly healing.

If only Zhongli could say the same about himself.

All the time he'd focused on Childe, all the energy spent had depleted his own reserves. When he wasn't acting as caretaker, he was researching purification. He was constantly teetering on the edge of collapsing from overwork, but he couldn't, didn't want to stop.

He knew this feeling all too well.

Denial.

When Guizhong passed, he couldn't accept her death. He sought something, anything to revive this person that meant so much to him. Because he was lost without her. He relied on her more than he thought, to interact with humans.

Perhaps he didn't want to admit he couldn't protect the person who meant so much to him. Perhaps it was ego. The end result was centuries of denial. He couldn't change that.

Now, he could feel Childe drifting away from him, turning away from him and into his own grief. His old wounds throbbed painfully, scars coming undone and leaking deep red blood.

He couldn't save their baby.

He could at least try to save his husband.

"What are you thinking about, Zhongli?" Childe asked. "You look very serious."

"It's nothing," Zhongli dismissed. "No need to worry."

"...if you say so."

Each and every text he read warned that Abyssal corruption buried itself deep into the body, and if not treated immediately, would be extremely painful to extract.

How many years had Childe lived with this in him? Attached to him? How painful would the removal process be?

Would he survive?

Zhongli shook the terrible thoughts away. He would make sure that would never happen. Ever. He didn't care if he had to challenge Celestia itself.

He would save Childe, no matter the cost.

"One would normally reject this type of research. It is far too dangerous. Too volatile."

Cloud Retainer stared down at Zhongli, her eyes betraying her concern. He had approached her with diagrams, plans to draw an array to purge Abyssal corruption. He was looking to Cloud Retainer to make improvements he couldn't see.

"Just see if you can improve it. Reduce the time it takes up, reduce the pain," Zhongli begged. "It's for Childe, please..."

"...if one may speak so freely, does this have anything to do with the new Adeptus one sensed?"