TommyInnit's unbeatable method of avoiding sudden death

Chapter 8: I Lost My Bitchass Roommate Again

"Give me the fucking cloth."

"No, I'm doin' it."

" No , I'm doing it - Phil tell him I'm doing it."

"Boys."

"You're not even doin' it right, just hand it over."

"I swear to god, give me the cloth."

"Wil, no."

Tommy blinks his eyes open blearily.

Where the fuck?

"Look what you've done-"

"What I've done?"

Three blurry figures hover above him.

Oh god. He's gone and died hasn't he? He's in heaven.

"Stop using your abilities for stupid shit Wil."

"I'm not . He's just fucking annoying me."

"Oh I'm sorry for tellin' you that can't put a soaking wet cloth on the kid's head."

"Oh like you're an expert. What are you? The cloth police?"

Maybe he's in hell?

"Shut the fuck up," Tommy croaks out, chest heaving.

The figures become clearer as they all turn to stare down at him.

What is this? His day of judgement?

Maybe he should have paid Fundy back that one time.

"Ello mate, how're you feeling?"

That voice. It's very familiar.

Tommy blinks once more and then squints.

Oh fuck.

That is Philza.

"Philza Minecraft," He whispers reverently, sitting up hastily, gripping the covers beneath him as the world spins for a moment.

The hero looks at him in confusion. "Minecraft?"

"Philza Minecraft," Tommy repeats, seriously.

"Um, okay," The man nods, "Not really sure what that means. I am Philza yes."