Different heroine (v3)

A heart.

Hearts of gold are very hard to come across nowadays. Humanity and its selfish ideals infect everyone's environment, to love is a double edged sword.

Love can either help fix a heart or it can lead to it breaking, increased emotions and sentiments lead people to confess their love.

Hiding that love will only hurt them, so in an attempt to ease that pain. Love is proclaimed, and to the person who confesses they hope to have it reciprocated. 

It hurts a lot to leave it alone, it hurts to keep it suppressed, it hurts to stay silent.

Life moves on forward, not backwards. Love won't wait for you, in fact it will leave you if you let it slip away. A reality that not many people will realise until it is too late.
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If I were to say something about myself, it would be that I am nothing.  Although that phrasing is wrong to an extent, I would have to elaborate on it. I have nothing.

I have no personality, no purpose for myself, no love. I don't know why love has entered my mind, although it is a topic that is quite foreign to me; I find it a very troublesome idea to love someone. However, it is something I wouldn't mind trying out.

To have a girlfriend and to learn how to regain everything through her has been in my calculations since the start of my high school life.

Although I am incapable of having such an emotion as love, I can like someone. Many people have attracted my attention, leading me to consider them as my future partner.

It's hard to fall in love when you can't, I hoped for a possible change in mindset wherever I went.

My mindset may be looked at with hatred, seeing people as tools makes me look like a psychopath. Well that mindset helped me survive, it helped me fight and it helped me win.

However, it doesn't mean that I want to keep it. I want to look at people as normal humans once again, this school had many people that had a lot of humanity, a lot of personality and emotion.

Emotion that I wished to acquire by communicating with them, however it was harder than I thought. Sadly, I have only been able to talk to a handful of people.

The idiot trio, an annoying black haired demon, the classes false angel and my seat mate. That was practically it for people in my class, that really wasn't good.

Out of a class of forty people I was only acquainted with six people. That notion made me realise how horrible I was at trying to make friends, there were many people with different personalities inside the classroom; that made the atmosphere of the class exude an atmosphere of individuality.

But I am different, I had no individual traits that belonged to just me. I adapted to the situation at hand, I have been pretending to be someone I am not. My desire for a peaceful life led me to take this path, that was  until she showed up beside me.

We did talk quite a lot at the start, she was kind and outgoing. She eventually made a lot of friends in the class, It was peaceful. Well, until every one of my classmates started to slack off.

The absences, misconduct and overall behaviour of my classmates was what led to our downfall. From 1000 class points down to 0 class points.

The uproar and chaos that erupted afterwards was immense. Shouting and blaming at eachother, there was no semblance of peace that was present in the room until she stood up.

Her gentle words of comfort and reassurance ceased all the chaos at that time. Followed by Hirata and Kushida the class eventually calmed down.

She was smart and elegant, a woman of such stature shouldn't belong in the class of defects. She had everything I lacked and everything I looked for. From that moment I considered her an option to teach me the sentiment of love.