GHOST CABIN ☆ EARTHMIX AU

Part fifty-five: the goodbye pain

He somehow got himself to close the door, leaning on their cold frame he took a few deep breaths, his body shivering. He needed to light the fire or he was going to freeze to death.

His eyes landed on the basket full of wood right next to the fireplace—Earth's favourite thing in the cabin, right after Mix.

The basket was full, Mix just needed to put the wood in the fireplace and strike a match. Earth chopped all the wood, Mix remembered that day.

Earth came back into the cabin way too proud of himself because he chopped all the wood at once and a tiny bit of teasing later they ended up chasing each other.

Mix didn't even imagine that that chase would ensue in something more, but then, when they were basking in each other's embrace on the carpet—Mix never needed someone so much before.

It was like he couldn't stop, every fibre of his body needed Earth more than anything. And then Earth pushed him away. And it was the first time since he met Earth that Mix was scared. Not scared of Earth but scared that he overstepped, that he made Earth feel bad, feel uncomfortable.

And then when Earth explained, Mix wanted to cry so much. Earth loved him, he truly loved him so much—the first man that really did. Mix didn't deserve Earth. He knew right there at that moment when he was standing in Earth's embrace; he didn't deserve him.

Mix didn't deserve Earth, but Mix was selfish, he wanted Earth, he needed Earth. He would give up anything for being able to feel Earth's arms around him one more time.

Mix sat down on the sofa, an apple in his hand—he had to eat at least something. He took their fluffy blanket and wrapped it tightly around him—exactly how Earth would do it. He was looking into the fire as it was getting bigger and bigger, consuming the wood completely. Like the pain that consumed Mix the moment Earth was gone.

"You aren't really gone, are you?" Mix whispered. "You are still here with me. I know you are. You wouldn't leave me just like that. I'm going to sleep now, alright? I'm tired. Take care of the fire, like you always do."

Mix waited a few hopeful seconds, but there was no answer. There was no soothing voice that would tell Mix to sleep well, to whisper in his ear how much he loved him. He closed his eyes, catching the dancing fire in them.

.....

"No please, don't. Please...stay...stay here with me. I love you, please, Earth...Earth...I—"

"Thank you..."

"Love, I'm here, I'm here. No, no no—"

"Thank you for being my hope...I lov—"
.....

Mix's body shook, he shot up to the sitting position on the sofa, tears streaming down his pale face. His eyes were frantically looking around, Earth's name as a broken record, repeating on his lips.

"Earth..." Mix breathed out one last time into what was now a fairly warm atmosphere. The fire was still calmly crackling in the fireplace even though it looked like it surely needed a new dose of wood.

His heart was beating way too fast as if he had just run a marathon, his breathing heavy. There was a frightening feeling that suddenly embraced him—that dream; Mix dreamed that dream before. Long before it really happened.