Part forty-six: always

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"Don't let the past steal your present. This is the message of Christmas: We are never alone."

-  Taylor Caldwell

The most beautiful holiday of the year was finally here

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The most beautiful holiday of the year was finally here. The clock struck midnight. It was officially Christmas Day. The room was lighted up by Christmas lights on the walls and of course on their masterfully decorated Christmas tree. The warmth was coming from the fireplace. The air was peaceful — quiet.

Earth's head was on Mix's lap as Mix read out loud one of the most essential Christmas stories known to the world; A Christmas Carol. The book lay on the arm of the sofa, Mix's fingers were slowly gliding from word to word, sentence to sentence, while his other hand was subconsciously stroking Earth's hair — at that point a habit. One of many habits Mix gained since Earth appeared in his life.

"Come in, -- come in! and know me better, man! I am the Ghost of Christmas Present. Look upon me! You have never seen the like of me before!" Mix's soft calming voice was uncovering the well-known story that belonged to the whole world and yet at the same time during that moment it was only their own. It was for Mix to read and for Earth to listen, to linger on every word, every syllable because that was what Mix deserved — to have Earth's unconditional attention and respect.

Always.

Earth watched Mix reading, never taking his eyes off of him. Afraid to miss a different curve of Mix's lips when he pronounces a word he didn't say before, a tiny little smile when he likes what is happening in the story, and a frown when he doesn't. The way his eyelashes flutter when he blinks many times because his eyes are getting tired, and the adorable scrunch of his nose he does sometimes — Earth thought — without even realizing it.

Looking at Mix was like looking at a sky full of stars, a sunset on the beach, a sunrise in mountains, a field full of sunflowers...it was everything breathtaking one could think of and yet nothing anyone could ever be able to imagine, for Mix was more than that, way more than that. Breathtaking might be enough to describe a sunset or the sunflowers but it would never be enough to describe Mix.

Earth wanted to paint Mix. He wanted to paint Mix's fairy-like face the way he saw it. He wanted to put all his love into each and every stroke of the brush, gliding it carefully on the canvas. Earth wanted to capture Mix's otherworldy beauty on the canvas forever, for the world deserved to be blessed with that sight even centuries after there won't be noting of them left, only the essence of their love remains, for the love like theirs didn't have a beginning nor the end; it was there.

Always.

Earth wanted to paint Mix so Mix could come at least close to seeing himself the way Earth saw him. To know and to understand that for Earth there was no one and there never was going to be anyone who would come even close to shining as brightly as Mix did for Earth.

Earth wanted to paint Mix. And yet he didn't. He could have done it as his Christmas present but in that case, for that one time, Earth was selfish and greedy. He wanted to paint Mix but he wanted to be able to look at Mix when he was doing it. To stare at Mix for hours on and actually have an excuse for it.

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