Logan Ross (jessie) season 1

The Talented Mr. Kipling

(Music playing)

(Jessie is sitting on a terace, reading "Modern Nanny" while logan reads "Catching Fire" )

(thumping, low growling)

(Jessie screams), (wakes up)

Jessie: Oh, thank goodness, it was just a dream. (lies down to find Mr. Kipling next to her)

(She screams again)

Jessie: Mr. Kipling, you are getting a time out. And no TV for a week.

Ravi: I think you are being very harsh. Mr. Kipling paid you a visit because he gets bored in his cage. Plus, he's a cuddler.

Jessie: Oh, that explains the claw marks on my calves!

(Emma comes into the room with logan)

Emma: Jessie, I have a huge problem. I love my photography class!

Jessie: Okay, I know I'm new at this whole nanny thing, but not seeing the problem.

Emma: The problem is I got the world's most laziest partner for this assignment.

(Luke enters the room)

Luke: You call it lazy, I call it selective participation. (holds up camera) Now, Jessie, give me... pouty nanny.

(Luke takes a picture of Jessie with confused face)

Luke: Okay, that was more like constipated nanny, but I can touch it up. I can't believe I can get school credit for taking pictures of cute girls.

Logan: and i have an actual problem, jessie can i talk to you when your free?

Jessie: Sure Lo.

Emma: The assignment is to take pictures of New York's flora and fauna.

Luke: Ooh, I hope those are hot Latin twins.

Logan: how are you my twin?

Jessie: Do you have an off switch?

Luke: Yep! You wanna try and find it?

logan: ew!

Jessie: Nope. Okay, look. We are going to the park. That way, you guys can work on your assignment, logan can read, and Ravi can take Mr. Kipling for a walk, or a slither, or whatever he does.

Ravi: No, no, no, no, no, no. We cannot take Mr. Kipling for a walk.

Emma: If Mrs. Chesterfield sees him, she'll throw a hissy fit.

Logan: yeah, she's such a snake!

Luke: Yeah, she's the head of the condo board.

Ravi: And a real pain in the ashram.

Jessie: Oh, is she that annoying lady downstairs who's always carrying that homely baby?

Luke: It's a dog.

Jessie:You're telling me. Someone whomped that child with the ugly stick.

Emma: He means it's Chihuahua.

Jessie: It's Chi-hideous. Look, Ravi, I'm not gonna let some old grouch to keep you from walking your pet. We'll just ask Tony to make sure the coast is clear.

Tony: (on intercom) I'm on it!

Jessie:Tony, are you eavesdroping again?

Tony: Now that I've looked up for word... Yes.

~kitchen~

Bertram: (on the phone) I need a loaf of bread, a pound of cheddar cheese, two pounds of roast beef, a jumbo jar of mayonnaise...