Winning His War

18

"I'm more of a fuck and dump type of guy but believe what you want I guess," Devon's deep monotone voice filled the room but surprisingly his usually scowl had turned into a barely noticeable smirk as he walked to the door. "I'm going to go pick up the food."

I didn't have a chance to defend my words before Devon closed the door behind him. I had a feeling this was going to make our car rides to work a lot more uncomfortable from now on.

I forced myself to look back at the TV. It was playing some stupid show about gay skateboarders. I hadn't been paying attention to it at all up until now since Andrew picked it out, claiming this was one of Jem's subscriptions and not his but if I had to judge by the look on his face, he had still seen the show before.

"Do you even want to be with Jem," Andrew asked after a while. Neither of our eyes pulled away from the show as a frown covered our faces. "Or are all of us just looking for a distraction?"

"I honestly don't know," I sighed after a while.

I wanted Jem. There was no doubt about that in my mind. I didn't care that it was confusing or that I just got a divorce, I wanted that man.

The problem came when I got in the mood to take him up on his offer and I realized I had no idea what I was doing. I had almost caved a few times since living here but every time I was one step away from it, anxiety clawed my chest.

I had never been with a guy and I could tell just by looking at Jem that he was plenty experienced with both men and women. I knew I wouldn't be able to get him off so I would really just be going to him purely for myself and that wasn't fair so there was no point in it.

That and I had always heard that it hurt and since I wasn't into that, there wasn't a reason to cave for him.

Still, I couldn't deny the fact that all Jem had to do was look at me just the right way to make my dick twitch.

"Do you want him," I asked as I pulled my eyes away from the show and over to Andrew.

His shoulders shrugged.

"I'd like to experience it I guess but I don't know if I could ever be with someone like Jem long term."

"You have a point. It's hard to be with someone who has a dangerous job."

"It's not the job I care about," he said, making my eyes widen a bit. "He's too distant. He can be so sweet and he's clearly good at sex but it's only been a few days since he had that nightmare and disappeared for days. Devon and Barrett both told us to stay out of it so it at least happens often enough for them to have a routine for it. I couldn't live with someone knowing I could wake up one morning and have them be sweet and loving and waking up the next and having them act like I didn't exist."

I hadn't really thought about that. I was kind of used to it at this point.

I went days without seeing Mary on a regular biases towards the end. Even though I still loved her at that point neither of us wanted to start another petty fight so eventually we found excuses to stay away from each other. I guess we see how well that worked out for us though. I didn't really want to do that to a long time partner again.

"Still, if I had to pick a guy to loose it to, who better to do it with than Mr. Sex on Legs," he said shamelessly with a small smirk.

I couldn't stop the laugh bubbling up in my chest before it was bouncing around the room.

"Now how can you say something like that and then blush when I asked about you sleeping in the same room as him?"

He only shrugged as his eyes went back to the screen.

Soon enough Devon was back. He placed the bags of food on the table before digging his out and disappearing back into his room just as Barrett came out.

Dinner passed quickly. Barrett surprisingly watched the show with us while pointing out a few skateboard tricks that he knew and saying there was no way he went into that move with that kind of stance but after a while I just tuned him out.