ᴄʜᴀsɪɴɢ ʀᴀɪɴʙᴏᴡ

12. Deceiving a friend

That's it. 

I pulled his emergency key by reaching my hand over and stepped down out of my own treadmill. His body jerked and he stumbled back. I was ready to grab him, and I did. Then something happened that I didn't anticipate. His knees bucked and he turned, circling his arms around my neck. I wasn't ready yet to put my defenses completely, so when I gripped his waist, trying to pull him back up, he set his cheek on my shoulder and turned his grip tighter. "Jungkook?" I got scared for a moment, thinking he was blacking out, and feeling that I had to take him to the emergency room. "Hey, Jungkook!" I yelled out loud over the gym music. 

His legs were shaky and his breath was coming in short puffs as his chest wheezed. He was trying to speak, but his lungs were prohibiting him, wanting to desperately suck oxygen through his mouth. I understood that. I let him cling to me. For a moment, I wanted to ask the trainer's help, who had appeared along with many others at the spectacle we'd created, but then I knew Taehyung would trust him with me more than anyone else, so I kept holding him.

"Hyung," he said after a few moments, his breaths still choppy.

"You are okay, Jungkook. Breathe." I slowly started sliding down on the ground. His body followed and I pulled his legs straight, quickly massaging them to soothe his blood circulation. I knew I didn't want to become a doctor, but being able to help people in a way that relieved their pain brought me a sense of satisfaction like nothing else. 

He closed his eyes and his chest bobbed at a normal breath rate per minute, which I counted. That was when I pulled away, my back hitting the wall as I let myself lean on it. "What were you thinking?" My voice had a cutting edge now that I have assured myself that he was going to be okay. 

"How else would I get you to talk to me? It seems like you dislike me so much that you turn the other way when you see me coming," he sat straight, supporting his back against a pillar, his eyes filled with emotions so strong that I didn't like them. I didn't like that I affected him this much. I didn't like that he was stupid enough to risk his health to get my attention. I didn't like that he was stringing Taehyung along when he was definitely not into him, and I didn't like to be the cause of anyone's pain. "Are you still briny about what I said in the beginning?"

"I am not. And we shouldn't be talking about it." I stood up quickly, dusting off my knees.

"Why?" He squirmed to get up as I reached over to the treadmill to collect his stuff.

"Stay down," I barked the order. "You are quite an idiot."

"Why, Hyung? Why shouldn't we be talking about it?" He soldiered on. 

Because I have a fricking girlfriend. Because you know that Taehyung is endeavoring so hard for you. "Because it doesn't matter to me, Jungkook," I said, point-blank. "I have forgotten about it only because of Tae. And you should know that whatever you are doing here... It is making me uncomfortable."

He scoffed, his head turned the other way before hanging down. He didn't say anything, but his fists tightened. I was standing there, breathing heavily when he slowly lifted from the floor. "Stop acting like we are committing a crime. Stop running away from me like a coward. I am nothing to you,  right? So why do I get your special treatment of being ignored? Stop acting as you do around me and I promise I'll not repeat anything like today."

I was flabbergasted at his confidence, his attitude, and his disrespectful tone as if he was speaking to someone his age or younger. What made it worse was that he said it all in Korean, which caused much more impact on me than I'd have liked. 

He was right. Why give him special treatment when he wasn't anyone special? I'd be lying if said he didn't affect me. Knowing that he found me attractive that was constantly running through my mind every time he was in my vision. Every time he chanced a peek at me, it boggled my mind to think what must he be thinking about me in his trance.

The same gender's fixation on me never bothered me until now. There is something about me that men find attractive, I've made peace with it. But when Jungkook looked at me, it wasn't a fleeting gaze, it was dangerous as if he wanted to drown and never come out, and it terrified me.

But he was right. I could act like it didn't affect me at all. I could put on a show. I nodded. "You are right." Patting a hand on his back didn't feel right, as if my lips were disconnected from the words. I felt his tensed muscles. "If you need my help with the study, let me know." I placed his sipper and the towel in his hand and walked out of the equipment room. 

I didn't think I could carry on, so I beelined to the exit and found Tae right outside. "Jungkook's in." I winked at him, but it felt wrong. I wasn't going to share our earlier conversation with him, and hiding things from my friend only cemented the fact that I was deceiving my friend in a way. 

I found Rose coming out of her swimming club. She smiled at me, about to say something when I lurked at her to kiss her. I wanted to channel all the anger into something, and this outlet was much better than any. "Someone might see us." She pushed me back, her eyes shocked as though she never expected such an action from me. 

"Come with me," I grabbed her palm and we walked all the way to my dorm. 

People watched and looked away as we surpassed them. I always preferred to have our private moments outside the campus. I didn't want any bastard to see her and have thoughts about her. I was possessive that way. That was why our group was planning to move out of campus and rent our own apartments nearby. Nonetheless, I didn't pay heed today. She was turned on by my lack of discipline and I made good on it the moment we closed the door behind us. 

I had to keep her mouth shut to let her voice from getting out. It was the first time that someone else's voice and face crossed my mind multiple times as I climaxed over and over again. 

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4 Mar, 2023