stranded with one direction. ➳ horan.

Chapter Twelve.

Peyton's POV

I just wanted to get away from them, but here they were.  Standing on my doorsteps with big puppy dog eyes and little pouts displayed on each of their faces.  They look really cute like that and I would have voiced my opinion on their cute appearances if I weren’t so enraged with them.

I tried to put on a face that showed little to no emotion and crossed my arms over my chest.  It was something I realized I did when I was trying to distance myself from things.

"And what do you want? Don't you have to go be famous or something?" I tried to sound cold and distant.

"Pey, we only wanted to say sorry.  It was never meant to happen like this.  We were going to tell you, but then... I don't know..." Liam trailed off.

He always seemed like the type of person who wanted to make everyone happy and not have anyone mad at him for anything.  I wanted to hug him, but I had to maintain my composure.

"Yeah, you don't know Liam.  I felt like a fool.  Believing in you boys.  Trusting you, and then it was all just a scam.  Do you not know what it's like to believe in people and then just find out that they never cared? Maybe you don't, but that's all I know and I was hoping, praying that you boys wouldn't be like those people.  But you're worse." I spat at them.

I hated yelling at yelling at them, but I was so angry that I couldn’t stop the words from flowing out of my mouth.

"Who gives you the right to yell at us? You think we wanted to do this? And we do know what it feels like.  Don't pretend like you're the only one with issues and demons to face." Louis spat back at me.

"Listen here Louis.  I have every right to yell at you.  And just because you didn't want to do it, didn't stop you from doing it. And I'm not the only one with things going on.  I know there are people out in the world who have it a lot worse than me.  And I feel sorry for those people, I do.  But that doesn't take away my problems or make them any less tragic to me.  And I have to fight them on my own too.

We all do, but sometimes you wish, you just really wish, that someone out there in world would be able to help you out and then you can return the favor.  But no, the world is full of people like you. Selfish little pricks who think that they can use people to help them out, but never think about returning the favor.

But you know what hurt the most? It was falling for you, Niall.  I fell, hard and I landed on my ass instead of falling into your arms.  The fact that you just let me get off the plane without trying to fight for me really proved that I meant nothing more to you than just some little toy.  You, of all people.  You were the one who wanted to be called a boy and play with paper planes instead of being called a man and playing with a girl's heart.  Well guess what.  You get the title of man because that's exactly what you did.

You made me start believing that some one could love me for me, but I was just a stupid little girl.  I know I didn't belong in your world, full of fame and success, while mine was full of abandonment and failure.  I was hoping that we would somehow make our two opposite worlds collide and it would be difficult, but I was willing to work at it.  But you didn't want to work. I'm glad I didn't tell you everything, because only then would I get the award for the biggest fucking idiot in the entire universe.

Please, just leave.  I don't care if you came here to apologize.  I don't care if you came back to try to win my friendship.  I don't care if you came back to fight for me.  I don't care anymore.  I made the promise I would be a directioner for life, and I always keep my promises, but I have decided to not care anymore.  Please just leave and never try to contact me again." I said this last part sounding defeated.  Honestly, I was. I was tired, both in the physical and emotional sense of the word.

I turned around to close the door, my suitcase sitting beside me.  I leaned to one side to pick it up and I stood in front of them again.  They all look distraught.  Like I had committed murder or something.  But then Niall decided to speak in the softest, most fragile voice.

"Where- where are you going?" He doesn’t deserve an answer, but I hate not getting one when I ask, so I gave him the most vague one I could think of.  "Away." I tried to walk past them, but Niall caught my arm.

"Pey... I know you don't want to hear it, but I'm sorry.  I was a fucking idiot for not telling you how I felt, for letting you get off the plane without me.  I will hate myself for the rest of my life because believe it or not, I fell for you too.  And just like you, I landed on my ass.  But that's my own fault. I know that, but I don't want you walking around thinking you meant nothing to me.  I understand if you never want to see me again, but you just needed to hear that." He said, soft, but forceful.  He let go of my arm.

I wanted to have him hug me, promise me everything was going to be just fine, and we would make it.  But I couldn't crawl back to him.  That would make me look like he could take advantage of me.  I knew this is a side of him that no one really saw, but I... I just... Just didn't know what to do.  But at the same time I did. This was the make or break decision and the answer came a little too easy.

I did all I could do.  I walked away.  I walked to my car, threw my suitcase in the back seat, and drove away.  Once I was far enough away, I pulled over.  I cried, again. I never thought the hardest thing would be to walk away from the person you could love, but I guess I had to when it felt like there was nothing left to do.

After I recollected myself, I started driving to the airport.  Once I was there, I got a First Class plane ticket to Ireland. My first stop on my traveling vacation and of course I had to fly first class.  People need to experience it once in their life.  As I was walking towards the gate, I saw the boys walking towards the same one.  You had to be kidding me. Why were they going to Ireland? Is Niall feeling homesick or something?

As I approached the gate, I put my hood up and kept my head down towards floor. I boarded the plane before them, but unfortunately, they were surrounding me.  I didn't realize this was going to happen.  Harry happened to be sitting next to me, but he looked tired, so I wasn't going to speak.

He tried talking to Niall, but failed when Niall shut him out.  It was heart breaking, to say the least.  But I had to maintain my anonymous composure.  The plane took off and I thought that I would finally be able to get some well-deserved sleep.  I rested my head on the side of the plane and I could feel my eyes slowly drifted close. But my eyes were not even fully closed when the plane started to shake.