Love gives hope

Chapter 9 "where i need to be"

"Just a glimpse is good enough for me." He said softly, I felt myself blushing again.

"Well, I better get going, big day."

"Hey." He stopped me at the door, I stopped and turned back "Kick ass today, show them that gift you speak so freely of...oh and try not to drop a kidney or anything."

"I'll try." I giggled "You just sit and try not to die."

"I can't." he smirked, "I have to wait to hear about your surgery and see your dress."

"I'll be back later with both."

He smiled and nodded. I felt my cheeks hurting as I smiled so hard that I had to bite my lip to stop. I entered the intern locker room to find my fellow interns already dressing for rounds, I got into my locker and started diving into my scrubs.

"Somebody is happy this morning." Izzie teased me, "Did someone slip some sex into your coffee?"

"No." I scoffed, "I'm not sleeping with anyone or seeing anyone for that matter."

"That's not what I heard." Alex scoffed, "The nurses are all talking about you heating up the sheets with some dead guy on 7."

"He isn't dead!" I hissed. They all looked at me awkwardly and I shifted as I suddenly realized how that sounded, "He is just a patient, he is my patient. My mother assigned me to him, he's VIP."

"Seriously Meredith." Cristina scowled, "It's bad enough Izzie is flirting with a heart patient, Alex is screwing every nurse he crosses paths with, you have to fall for a cancer patient."

"I am not falling for him." I shook my head and giggled at their ridiculous accusations. "I was told to cheer him up and get him better for surgery, I am just doing my job."

"You're a surgeon Meredith." Cristina lectured me as we headed out the door "VIP patient or not; if you don't spend more time in the OR you're going to fall behind. Are you here to be a surgeon or a candy striper?"

I shook my head and narrowed my eyes, "Of course I'm here for surgery. Surgery is my life; it always has been. I just check on him when I can and do what my mother tells me to make her happy. I could care less about him."

We stopped outside the patients we were operating on that day's door when I heard a page ring out in the hallway.

"CODE BLUE, SEVENTH FLOOR. CODE BLUE, SEVENTH FLOOR."

My eyes widened with panic as all I could picture was Derek's heart flatlining— how I would never get to show him my dress or tell him about the surgery that I was abandoning for him.

"Meredith, don't." Cristina hissed, "This is your career."

"I know." I panted as I darted towards the stairwell, calling over my shoulder, "I'll be right back, start without me!"

I took four stairs at a time. I wasn't sure how I managed as my legs were as tiny as the rest of me. 45 seconds later I was up two flights and almost did a face dive into the hallway of the seventh floor. I took a gasp of air as I pummeled myself down the hallway and burst into the door of Derek's room expecting to see a code team fighting to revive him. Instead, I saw his head jolt up from the magazine he was reading and look at me with a startled expression.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

I placed my hand on top of my beating heart gasping for air, leaning over myself as I tried to catch my breath.

"Oh thank god." I grunted as I shuffled my feet over to his bed and plopped onto the edge of it. I gasped until the air finally started regulating in my lungs, "You're alive...you're alive."

"Yes." He frowned, "Are you ok? You look a little freaked out."

"I heard a page." I panted softly, I felt my eyes moisten, I was hoping just from the running, "I heard a page that there was a code on the 7th floor, and I thought..." Then I felt it...the tears sprung from my eyes and a sob betrayed its way out of my throat. I cupped my hand over my mouth and felt absolutely humiliated, "Oh god, I'm so sorry."

"Hey...hey..." he soothed me, reaching out a hand and cupping it around my arm to keep me there, "It's alright, I'm ok. You don't need to be scared or upset. I made you a promise that I wasn't going anywhere today. You made me a promise and I made you one. That's how it works, right?"

I kept my hand over my mouth in case any more sobs wanted to come out and just nodded slowly.

"See, no need to worry."

"Ok." I finally breathed, "Oh god, I'm so sorry. That was humiliating on so many levels."

"Why does being scared about someone's well-being embarrass you?" He frowned "Why does caring about someone have to be humiliating?"

"Because." I sniffled, "I'm your doctor...I'm not supposed to feel this way about my patients."

He collectively nodded softly, but his eyes smiled and shined. "Patients? As in plural? Dr. Grey do I have to worry about competition?"

"Oh shut up." I giggled as I dabbed my eyes, "Oh crap, I missed my rounds."

"Well, you better go then." He smiled softly, "You don't want to miss out on your big piggyback surgery."

I looked at the clock and then at him and let out a sigh as I shrugged.

"I'm already in trouble as it is." I said as I stood up and took off my lab coat "What the hell."

I slipped off my shoes and stood at the edge of the bed expectantly, he looked up at me intrigued yet a little confused.

"This works better if you scoot over."

"Oh." He gasped; his brow raised "Oh!" He smirked as he scooted his body to one side of the bed, "You want to get into bed with me."

"You make it out to be more than what it is." I giggled as I sat down next to him and snuggled back, I picked up the remote and turned on the television "What do we have this morning... Bold and the Beautiful, ew... oh there's sesame street, nah. Oh! The price is right, now we're talking..."

I felt him yawn next to me and stretch his arm out to where it was behind me and across my shoulders. I giggled and closed my eyes at the adorableness of it.

"You are so old." I teased, "You just used the oldest move in the book, seriously?"

"I'm just getting started." He mumbled "Just wait and see how I try to feel you up."

I swatted his hand as I let myself erupt into giggles. His eyes twinkled, and his face lit up as we settled into each other. A moment of comfortable silence passed over us.

"Are you sure you don't have a more important place to be today?" he asked. I reached up to his hand that was draped over my shoulder and intertwined my fingers with his.

"I am where I need to be today."

"Ok." He whispered into my hair; I didn't look but I could tell he was breathing in my 'scent'.

"Lavender." I mumbled.

"Hmm?"

"The flower you smell on me. It's lavender, from my shampoo."

I felt him smile as he took in a large breath.

"Lavender."