The Fake Fan | Nom |

Chapter Nine ➳ Nathan

Chapter Nine:

➳

Nathan's Pov;

I had chewed my lip that much that I had ripped several pieces of skin off and it had now started to bleed but I couldn't stop doing it; it was distracting me from crying. I was so careless last night when I posted that text post and I knew that it would backfire on me and it did, hugely.

Tom knew about my hate for him, he knew I hated him until we had sex and now he's called me out on it. The blog that had been winding me up so much these past couple of weeks turned out to be Tom, he was posing as a fan. I thought back to some of the things that I said to him - though I didn't know that it was him at the time - made me cringe, how could I have been so rude?

I was honestly disgusted by my childish behaviour, I deserved to be punched in the face. I don't know why I hated the band so much in the first place but now my hatred has decreased. I'm not a total fan girl now but I have come to appreciate them and their music much more. I just wished that my epiphany hadn't occurred after I slept with one of the members; it made me seem shallow.

Even some of the fans had pieced together that the boy Tom brought home from the club in Manchester was me - someone who is known for hating the band. They had started to send me hate and death threats and that wasn't what was bothering me most, no: it was the message that Tom had sent me on tumblr.

I could probably recite it right now if I wished, i've read over it so many times; each time felt like a bullet to the heart. I couldn't understand why it was so painful to read, why I suddenly cared for Tom - it was unfathomable.

I put it down to the sex but it felt like there was another reason to that. It just couldn't be the sex, I hardly ever felt this attached to someone after sleeping with someone. However, there was this voice, mocking me in the back of my mind.

People said that there was a thin line between love and hate. Maybe all this time I had embedded withing myself the hate for the four piece band but really I didn't hate them at all - I just thought I did.

The words, 'I hate you', clung to my mind when I thought back to Tom's message. It was the only part that stuck out to me and I had no idea what to do anymore.

Clicking on the messages icon I scrolled past the hateful messages filled with foul language and death threats and stopped when I saw the message from maxsnipples; the most lethal message of all.

You disgust me.

Not only the things that you say about me and my band but the fact that you had the cheek to actually take back all that you've said after we had sex.

You knew who I was and yet you still slept with me. What did you gain from that, huh?

Was it just for kicks?

Was it to mock me further? To try and humiliate me to give you something?

Because no sane person does that - you are disgrace.

And if you're wondering yes I am Tom Parker and you know what?

I hate you too.

I sighed everything he said was right, what did I want to gain from this? The only thing that I gained was embarrassment and I deserved every bad word that was thrown at me; I deserved to be jeered and laughed at.

I only brought this on myself and now it was time I face the consequences.

I had yet to reply to Tom's message but I knew that this was the perfect time before the message would be buried underneath all the others.

Clicking on reply privately I waited for it to load. Once it did I just stared at the white screen; waiting for the correct words to type.

I didn't know what to say so I wouldn't sound so conceited or idiotic. But then I remembered one of the wisest things my Grandmother had told me before she passed away: 'if you ever find yourself in a mess, just apologise - that always allows you to pass through the light at the end of the tunnel.'

And so that's what I did: I said sorry. And once I had typed the five letter word I pressed send.

I knew that it wouldn't make Tom hate me but I just hoped that it would hopefully make him realise that I was sorry. I then logged out of the addicting blogging site and turned my laptop off.

-

Short and shitty :/

Happy Easter to those that celebrate it and don't eat too much chocolate! That's easier said than done lol

This may be the last update until at least Wednesday depends on how busy I am.

Anyways, how are you all? You all good?

Please speak to me I have like two friends I'm such a loner lol. #sadlife

Do any of you guys like Phan? If so I've posted the prologue to my new book it's Phan and it's called Soulmates so pls go and check it out, thanks!

- Talia xx