The Porn Identity

Chapter 21

       Henry grabbed a couple packs of sugar from the wire packet holder pushed up next to the ketchup, ripped the tops off, and poured it in his coffee. "You look like shit, by the way."

        I grimaced. "So do you."

       He stirred his coffee like he had all the time in the world. "It's been a rough week."

       "Ditto." I'd opted not to order since I'd already eaten, so instead of busying my hands with eating I folded them together on my lap and watched my friend play with his coffee.

       "Can I ask you something?" He looked up with a grim resolve. "Why didn't you call Dr. Deb?"

       I looked away. "I don't know. I guess I didn't want to bother her."

       "She's paid to be bothered."

       I contemplated lying a little or joking but I wasn't in the mood. The tears had spent any energy left to keep up pretenses. "I guess I thought I would feel stupid to call her with something so trivial. I was basically crying for no reason."

       He took a sip of coffee. "It couldn't have been for no reason."

       I stared down at my hands. "I guess...I just felt...so overwhelmed."

       He nodded. "That's okay. We all get overwhelmed sometimes."

       "Oh? We all have a breakdown in our cars and cry like a baby?"

        "Not in the car. But when I was trying to sell my first manuscript and I got my hundredth rejection letter...in the bathroom. Just a little." He scratched at his chin. "What about Manny?"

       "We're in the middle of a fight. Just a little."

       He snorted out a laugh and the air felt less heavy. "Geez, I've only been in editing for a week and a half."

       "It all falls apart without you." I smiled a bit. "How's the book going?"

       "Final stretch." He took a tiny bite of his French fries, then talked while he chewed. "Good thing too. I was about to lose my goddamn mind."

        "You're the one who wanted to be an artist."

       He looked positively pompous. "Of course! How could I deny the world my brilliance?"

       I laughed. "At least it's not going to your head."

       "That's the first time I've seen you laugh all day."

       "All day? You've only been with me for ten minutes. Don't be so dramatic."

       He smiled. "I'm glad you're feeling better."

       "Me too."

       He gestured down to his plate where his million-calorie cheeseburger sat, still steaming. "Sure you're not hungry? 'Cause I'm about to fuck up this burger."

       "Go ahead."

       He grabbed the triple patty monstrosity and took a generous bite. As his jaw worked he mumbled, "I agreed to take out this girl from church."

       "Finally got you, huh?"

       He swallowed then rolled his eyes. "She wouldn't stop pestering me. 'When will you get married?', 'I want grandchildren'. It's too much."

       "There's a whole other son between you and Han she could pester first."

       "They gave up on Harley years ago. All they ask from him is that he doesn't embarrass them."