No strings attached - Leon S. Kennedy

Chapter 20

Amber Torres POV

White noises and so much light.. I feel like a christmas tree with so many cables connected to my body "What.." I try to form more words as I attempt to remove the tube from my nose "Torres" A mans voice echoes through my ears, everything was so loud. Moving hurt my chest, what happened? I try to remember, memories flooding my brain "Where is he?" I was shot and he saved me.. The man steps closer towards me as i try to move "I'm Chris Redfield, I'm part of the BSAA" I pull at the tubes in my arm, I need to see him "Please, where is he?" Is he alive? Did he make it? everything after the kiss is a blur "Amber please try to calm down, you need to keep these on a little while longer, tell me what you know and I'll tell you about Leon" Is he trying to negotiate with me?! I scoff at him and nod. He starts asking me all kinds of questions "No! I had no idea what they're doing down there! I knew about the virus, just not about the things they were doing with it" he seems to believe me, with a soft and understanding voice. I never knew the things Umbrella were capable of, I only researched their virus on paper, I've never been allowed there. 

He's done asking all these questions, how will they believe me after I worked for them for so long? "Now tell me about Leon! I told you all I know!" I beg as he stands up next to me "He's not been here in days" my vision goes blurry, tears forming in my eyes "He's not going to come back, he's left for work" If my heart didn't shatter already it definitely did now "Thanks Chris" I lay back down into the bed, I can't move, everything hurts. "I'm sorry I can't bear better news" I nod at him and throw my arms over my face until I hear the door close, letting the tears flow down my cheeks as I cry out for him, I am in so much agony "Why.." I mumble to myself. I have so much hurt inside of me. 

TIMESKIP

2 weeks have passed since I've found out that he won't be coming back, apparently he's left for good and I am still in this godforsaken Hospital bed, being monitored, this stupid bullet wound, he should've just let me die there, like i fucking told him to! "I'm feeling good, just let me go!" I yell at Chris, he's been keeping me company throughout all of this "I was going to let you know the good news, but you seem a bit on edge today" I smile at him "Am I allowed to leave today?" he nods "You seem stable enough to be on your own, I'll have to bring you home though" Finally, I'll have my personal space back, I swallow, thinking of going back has got my head flooded with memories of him "Chris, can I ask something?" I fiddle with the blanket, how do I ask him without breaking into a episode of tears "Has he contacted you?" I look at him, hopeful for positive news "I don't even know where exactly he is right now or what his plan is" of course he doesn't know more, they don't work together and I doubt they're best friends. No answer on my side is needed, Chris probably knows by the look on my face "I'll get you in an hour, be ready" he closes the door behind him, where do I go when I am back home? Umbrella is gone, Leon is gone, where do I go? I get out of bed, it's a normal looking hospital room, everything is white and tidy, sometimes too much for my eyes to handle. I don't really have much to pack, just the clothes that were brought to me. Maybe I should just take a shower, always seems like the best solution when you have time to spare and nothing to do. 

When I take off my shirt i stare at my reflection and down on myself, I haven't really looked at it yet, it's like a constant reminder, my hand wanders to the scar but I inch away the moment i touch it, I'm not hurt but touching it felt surreal and weird. I take a few deep breaths and go for a shower. I've been given exercises to do for rehabilitation, one of them is doing deep breaths, The first week was hell, recovering hurt, for a while I thought I was going to die from the pain alone. Now all that needs to be done is keep it out of the sun and take care of it. I exit the shower and put clothes on, aswell as drying my hair. Now it's time to go, I take my bag and look around the room, definitely won't be missing this at all "Ready?" Chris tries to be sure "Yes, I think"

The car ride is silent and awkward, he probably doesn't know what to say either, I feel as I've compromised their work, they had to save the woman from Umbrella, the one working with the enemy, I'm certain the only reason I was being treated nicely was because of Leon. I miss the times when things were normal, when I didn't have any clue about the actual things going on down there, yet on the other Hand, now that i do know, I wish i never worked for them, I helped them and I am at fault. I grip into my thigh, I'm not ready to go back. "You okay?" Chris stops at the front of my Apartment, there's no turning back, my hands are shaky but I manage to put the front up again "I'm fine, thank you" I open the car door and say goodbye. My hands are so shaky I won't even get the key inside the lock, breathe, just a moment and you're inside. 
I close the door behind me and look around my room, everythings the way I left it before I went to Leon's, my body feels heavy on me. Too many things happened here, everywhere I look I see memories with him, I grip into my hair, he was never more than someone i got involved with, I've never let my feelings get the best of me like this. I sit down at my door, crying into my knees, holding in the sobs, I didn't even want to hear myself cry, pathetic me. I don't know who I am anymore.

I take my cellphone out of my bag, he's not changed everything that fast, has he? I dial his number, dialing sound, so it's still used by him but he's not answering, not answering me.
I push my phone away from me, fight the urge to dial his number. So when I can't dial his number, what do I do instead? Right, I drive to his apartment. 
This doesn't feel real, nothing does, why is his name gone? I rush to the door and knock it repeatedly "You can't be gone" i whisper as i lean my head agains the outside of the door.