No strings attached - Leon S. Kennedy

Chapter 12

Ever since Leon's emotional talk, I haven't seen him again, he hasn't been at work for 2 days, Adam's said he'd signed in as sick, I would be lying If I said i wasn't worried about him. Everything he told me seemed to match up with what i've read so far even if it was only his personal experience. There has to be so much more pain hidden under it, i was only worried that he was making it all up too, that it was all a big show, but would 2 missing work days be worth a little act? There's absoloutely nothing I can do right now, am i expected to walk into his door and ask if he's actually sick? Can't do that. 
Just as I hit the couch after coming home from work, My phone vibrates in my pocket, I was going to just ignore it, but it wasn't just one message, initially I just wanted to turn it off but when i opened my phone and saw who sent them and what they were 'Ambrr imso sirrry fr tskng thst syupif lrtter' It doesn't take a genius to figure out what it means, but why is he typing like that 'evrrythginh is fsllng aprt' i shake my head and with shaky hands write back 'Leon? Are you okay?' I try to call him but he doesn't pick up until my phone vibrates again 'in hesrng viocec' what? That's the one message I can't decipher, as well as the last straw, I pick my jacket up, throw it over and slip back into my shoes as i run towards my car, I don't know if this is normal, i've never seen him like this, heard him like this or encountered him in any ways close to that.

Leon's door is slightly open, to the point where i wouldn't have noticed if i didn't knock. I enter and fully close it behind me, my body shrugs together as i hear glass smash next room, it's his bedroom, followed by words i can't understand. "Leon!?" I open the door to his living room, where he's sitting on the floor, leaned against the wall, his face on his knees and hands on his ears. I take a step towards him "Leon?" I say as i sit on my knees in front of him, placing my hand on his, he doesn't even seem to realize, he's mumbling different things that i can't  understand, his gaze lifts when i take his hands from his ears "amber" his voice sounds so reliefed yet he's slurring the words, he's drunk and not just a bit "what are you doing, Leon" i put his hand tighter into mine, god there's so much pain in his eyes "I'm hearing voices in my mind, screams" This has to be the alcohol, right? "They're their screams, from raccoon city" his words get more slurred the more he says, this is it, there is no way anyone could fake this.. the trembling voice "I believe you" i sigh and take him into my arms but he rejects my attempt, i must've triggered something because he pushes me away and raises his voice "Don't" i know what this is, i know it too well, panic attacks, i used to have them. "Just leave" he commands as i stand back up, he pulls a flask from his pocket which i snatch out of his hand "Don't! This is just going to make it worse" I put it in my pocket and sit back with him "This is all your fault. You're one of them." he accuses me, don't react to it. "Leon, breathe in and out, please" I try to distract and take his hand but he pushes me away again "I can't do this anymore, everybody pushes me around." This is about her, isn't it? "I'm here.." i whisper softly, I'm not scared of him in any way, I've been there. With every attempt to push me away I tried to speak more sense into him until my attempt to lay my arms around him work as he puts his all into my arms. I bury my hand in his hair as his trembling breath turns back to normal "Amber?" "Can you stay?" he adds to which I nod "go sleep" I say while he breaks himself away from me "Stay completely" he adds to his former statement.

"Okay" i agree and we stand up "I'll probably shower first, make yourself at home" he slurrs, deja vu, this time I won't snoop through his stuff, walking in on him in a moment like this already felt like some sort of snooping. "Take one of my shirts" he closes the door behind him, so i walk up to his closet and take a black shirt out of the closet and change into it, the rest of my outfit still being my pants. Am I supposed to stay in his...bed? or just his apartment? I tug at the shirt and play with the seams of it "Are you okay, with staying here?" he walks in on me fiddling with the shirt, his voice still slightly shaky "Wherever you need me" the urge for me to see him be okay again was too big for my embarassment to take over. He lays on his bed to which I follow and lay down on the other side, I hate that i knew how my heart skipped a thousand beats while he probably didn't care in that way. 

I've laid with my back next to him for the past hour, I couldn't sleep, If it wasn't my heart skipping a thousand beats then it definitly were my thoughts, making me think about the fact that I wasn in his bed without any interactions, the fact that I walked in on him in his most vulnerable state. He was fast asleep, last time i checked.. But I could still hear his shaky breath. 
I turn around and look at him, laying on his back, arm over his face, every now and then a mumbling would escape his lips, was he having a nightmare? I turn my whole body around and carefully place my arm around his upper body, laying my head on his chest, god I hope subconsciously this would help him "Please sleep well, Leon" i mumble before falling asleep to the sound of his heartbeat.