No strings attached - Leon S. Kennedy

Chapter 21

"Chris please just tell me what he told you" I beg on the phone, all I can hear is a sigh, he won't spill "I can't sleep, I can't eat, he saved me and now he's gone" i grip the phone tightly "Come to the BSAA, we'll talk, I've got things to ask" he ends the call, for the past months I've been trying to find him, spent new years searching files that i retrived from his database, nothing. Not a trace. I know Chris knows, stratcom and the BSAA are no strangers, he's hiding it from me and it's annoying me. I've tried to get over him, but it's the closure I need in order to bury the past, why did he decide to leave? Is he okay? Has he buried me as his past? 

I tie my hair up, at least i've started working on myself again, I am still afraid to touch the scar, it's like a trigger for my mind to go crazy, my place still reminds me of him but I've learnt how to manage my emotions. Things to ask? I've told them everything I know back then. I sit on my couch to put on my shoes, everything feels different, my life has turned 180 degrees, in just a few months I've turned into a completely new person. 

I check my phone for new messages, hopes of it being him, who am I kidding? He's not responded in months, who knows if he's still alive, actually, Chris does. I park my car and walk into the BSAA building, Chris already waiting to pick me up at the entrance "Come with me" he leads the way to an office "What exactly do you need to ask me?" I sit down as he leans against the wall "We've got a lot to ask you" he crosses his arms, why is he speaking in riddles "Just spill it Chris, I'm ready to answer everything you need" he laughs "I know, not that kind of questions" I lay my head to the side and look at him "I've spoken to my supervisor, remember how you told me you had no clue where to go" I nod in response "We believe giving you a chance in the BSAA would be a possible option for you" huh? Why would they hire me? Isn't this a job that is highly secured? "Why me? Surely they won't take someone that used to work for umbrella in" he walks up to me "Your work with umbrella might be of big help actually, considering adams is still out there, besides, I know how to pull strings" Me in the BSAA? I don't know, I don't think I have the capacity to do this, especially with Adams on the run "I don't know Chris, I'm not strong enough for the job" He leans back at the desk "Sure you are, you'll be even stronger when you join us" I rest my face in my hands for a moment to think, maybe this is the right thing to do? "And everyone is okay with it?" I try to reassure myself "Considering we protected you from Adams for the past months, yes" so I nod at him "give me time until tonight" to which he agrees "Chris, you said we'd talk" Chris leans his head back for a second, he knows exactly what I am getting at "Why won't you let it go, it's clear he wants you to" He's completely right, I don't know why but it's like he's left me with a wound worse than any gun could cause "I don't know, like I said before, I need closure" his empathy gets the best of him "He works for Stratcom still, I can't tell you more, he's my friend too" "So you can't tell me anything new, thank you though" I stand up 
"I'll let you know what I decided on" He places his hand on my shoulder "You've got the choice to let him go" I decide to stay silent and leave, I hope he knows I don't mean any harm.

I walk into the kitchen and pour hot water into some cup noodles, my only recent nutrition, Chris is right, I've got a choice. I sit down with my cup and take out my phone, fiddling it around, he's never going to come back, I am in his past. I put down the noodles and type his name into the phone 'delete this contact?' i swallow, this is the right thing to do, now he's out of my phone, no way for me to try and hold on anymore. Is this my way of saying goodbye? Letting go of the past? I lay on the couch, I'm not hungry anymore, it's hard to just let go of something you dedicated months to. My eyes wander towards my phone, so I reach for it. It's my time to be my own person.



"Chris? I'm taking the job" 


Thank you for everything, Leon.