"maybe in another world, another life, we were meant for a happy ending, but not here, not this time"
in which nishimura ayame is struggling with her mental health and home life and yang jungwon tries to help her but nothing could ever go right for...
a few weeks had gone by since the whole ayame going to jungwon's house in the middle of the night and ayame hadn't told jungwon the reason yet and to be honest, it was bothering jungwon.
not the fact that she came to his house as he could tell she and her brother were both in a bad state but the fact that he told her that she can tell him anything and he'll be there for her but she has yet to do so.
she only told him about the eating disorder because she had no choice other than that she keeps everything to herself
but jungwon had no idea why she was doing that.
he didn't know on top of her eating disorder, she was in a bad financial situation, supporting her father, her brother, and herself, struggles with depression, anxiety, and insomnia, gets treated horribly at work, and is trying to overcome her suicide attempt from the year before.
of course she can't just dump all that on him at once so she thought it was best to just leave it alone.
especially since she believed she wasn't going to be there much longer.
it was almost the end of november already, meaning a new semester was starting in january as well as a new opportunity for students to join clubs.
the week was called club rush in which a bunch of clubs put out their tables in the gym area and encourage students to join their clubs.
many students were interested while ayame on the other hand was disinterested. she didn't have time to attend meetings and she didn't feel like socializing with others. she figured riki was going to join clubs though.
she was walking down the multiple tables, looking at the clubs that there was. not planning on joining any but just curious.
about to leave, one table caught her eye.
the art club.
she hesitantly walked over, not looking at the students who were talking. just as she was about to pick up the pen to sign up herself, a voice called her out, "ayame"
ayame looked to her right and saw jungwon standing there with a smile on his face, "oh hello"
"were you going to sign up?" jungwon asked
ayame nodded at first but then thought about it and shook her head, "i can't.." she put the pen down before walking away from the boy
"h-hey!" jungwon walked over to her and walked beside her, "why can't you?"
"i'm just too busy for meetings. it'd be fun but yah" ayame explained trying to dismiss the topic of choice
"it's something to try though" jungwon replied
ayame sighed, "i wish i could but i can't. maybe another time.."
'there won't be another time ayame...'
"uh aside from that" ayame spoke, switching the topic, "you've been busy lately i've noticed"
"oh" he rubbed the back of his neck, turning slightly pink, "yah i have. studies and afterschool tutoring so sorry i haven't been with you as much"
"i mean i'm not mad. your life doesn't revolve around me of course. you have your own life" ayame responded
"still i feel like a bad friend regardless" jungwon sighed and ayame shook her head, patting his shoulder
"you're a great friend jungwon, alright" jungwon was going to argue but didn't in the end.
the two walked out of the gym and they were now outside and it so empty due to the fact that a majority of students were of course in the gym.
"uhh..ayame. can i ask you something?" ayame looked at him and nodded, "uhm..that night you came to my house..why?"
ayame stopped in her tracks and looked at him, "i-i told you when im comfortable i'll tell you.."
"ayame we've been friends since august and its november. i know you have something going on in your life and i know it's probably difficult to tell other people. but don't you think it would be easier if you just told something and ranted to someone about your problems rather than hold it in?" jungwon told her
"you're right but i've had problems trusting people so it's just a little hard i guess" ayame reasoned with him
"i told you can come to me ayame. i really don't understand your problem" jungwon spoke a little to harshly and he had no time to take it back when she responded
"you're right" she spoke bitterly and her tone changed and jungwon sensed this, trying to take back his sentence
"wait that's not-"
"no, no you're right" ayame chuckled, "you don't understand my problem which is exactly fucking why i don't tell anyone and why i have trust issues. i don't know who you're going to tell. i don't know your true intentions. in fact i barely know you. why did you become friends with me huh? pity? because everyone else saw me as a loser. you probably think that too huh?"
"stop overthinking shit ayame!" he rolled his eyes, listening to her speak
"don't tell that to a over thinker!" she shouted at him, "you have such a fucking good life jungwon. your mother loves you, you don't have to worry about your financial situation, you live in such a good home" she began ranting, "you know why i went to your house at 3 in the morning? because my fucking father abuses me and my brother"
"w-what..?" jungwon stood back in shock
"yah" she started, "i was sleeping and my brother was making food, my father came home drunk. he was going to hurt me but riki told him not too and that made him mad. riki shouted my name and when i ran to him, my father was about to throw boiling hot water at him but instead i blocked him and now my back is burned from it"
"t-that's not..often right?"
"yes it is fucking often jungwon" ayame bit back at him, "every night i have to hide riki in my closet so my father doesn't hurt him and i take all the hits instead. i work this job because my father spends all the money on drinking and fucking gambling. you know why i was covered in coffee that one day? because my coworkers hate me and they treat me like shit but i stay there for riki and me"
"a-ayame..i really had no idea..i'm so sorry-"
"sorry doesn't cut it jungwon. this is why i don't like having friends. you're just like everyone else. judging people without knowing them" ayame turned around and walked the opposite way, away from jungwon.
"oh god.." jungwon ruffled his hair in frustration
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