[ extra special ] ~ tom hiddleston

57 - voicemails

PART 57:
voicemails

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

(tom's pov)

it's a few days after the met gala, and i'm still reliving my moment with valencia.

i didn't want it to end this way. it's all my fault.

the way she confessed that she's moved on, that she doesn't love me anymore, that i'm too late.

i remember seeing her name pop up every time she called or messaged me, and me ignoring them like the idiot i am. how stupid could i be to believe the media? better yet, how stupid could i be to not come in contact with her again after it was confirmed to be a lie?

i grab the phone beside me, opening up to the phone app. hesitantly, i start listening to every voicemail sent by her or dan, the ones i've ignored months ago.

dan: 'hey um i need you to answer right now. i've called you four times already. uh, valencia's asleep now but she needs you, she can explain the whole situation. or at least i can. um, she...she had a panic attack. a really bad one, too. i called because no matter what i did it wouldn't get better so i thought that maybe you'd help? yeah, anyways, please call back as soon as you can.'

fuck.
she was going through that while ignoring all calls.
i couldn't help her.
i couldn't fucking help her when she needed me.

valencia: 'hi tom...so i'm leaving toronto earlier than i was supposed to, and um i was kind of hoping we'd meet up? please answer my calls when you can'

'okay so i'm back home now. dylan told me you weren't answering anything but i guess i'm kind of hoping you'd answer me... please, tom?'

'i'm really mad right now. at everything. i need you to call me back, please. this whole situation is such bullshit and i know you don't believe it, you can't believe the media, that's not like you. fuck, i'm literally begging you to answer me.'

'i'm sorry. i didn't mean to get mad. i just miss you, and i haven't seen you in awhile and i feel like our relationship is over. is it...over? i don't know anymore, i'm confused, you know i hate it when i'm confused. it's been three days since i arrived back but i can't just go into your house, you're not letting anyone in. i miss you.'

'so it's been a week and a half, i think you made your point clear. we're over...okay wow that was hard to say. um...are you okay? no, i shouldn't be asking you that. god, do you not care anymore? why would you believe them over me?...whatever. bye, love you! fuck i wasn't meant to say that, it's a natural response, i'm sorry. listen, all i want from you is a confirmation, just to hear your voice telling me what we are now, or if you miss me...please.'

'okay. hi. i'm assuming you saw the news? or at least i hope you did. see, it wasn't real, they were lying i never cheated. i can't believe you believed them in the first place. i feel like i've been talking to a wall for the past month so, i'm just going to stop now. i'm really going to miss you, like a lot. it's gonna be hard to move on—sorry, i'm rambling, you probably don't care anymore. ok, seriously goodbye.'

'i know i said my goodbyes a month ago but, i used to call you happily to tell you when i did something, and i thought you should know i'm working on a new album! can you imagine? i've always talked about how i missed singing. that's usually the part where you're like omg i'm so proud of you, but again, you don't care anymore. it felt weird not telling you. okay, this time it's a serious goodbye. bye!'

i'm sorry for not answering.
it's okay for you to get mad, darling.
i still care, of course i still care.
i did see the news, i'm stupid for believing them, forgive me, love.
i like hearing you rambling.
an album? i'm so proud of you.
i still care, i'm excited to hear it.
goodbye, darling, i'll talk to you soon yeah?

god i wish i would've answered every single message, every single call.
you would've forgiven me, we would've been cuddling on the couch i'm sitting on right now.

i'm staring blankly at my ceiling, until i get startled by a call interrupting my thoughts.

"hello?" i answer.

"hi tom! it's the russo brothers, we just wanted to call to tell you some exciting news."

"of course, what is it?"

"silver storm has been renewed for another movie!"

...what.

———

(valencia's pov)

i should be happy. i should be jumping on my bed from excitement. yet, i'm just staring at my wall with my mind clouded with thoughts.

silver storm has been renewed for another part.

that's great, isn't it?
i loved playing that character, i loved being in the mcu, i loved every minute i spent with the cast.

i would've been joyous right now,
if it wasn't for the fact that my love interest is played by my ex boyfriend.

i'd have to act with him, kiss him, pretend like nothing happened.

how awkward.

we don't start filming until a few months,
maybe there's a solution?

i hesitantly pick up my phone, opening his contact.

i'm only doing this for the sake of the movie,
nothing else.

tom.
【messages between valencia callisto and tom hiddleston】

hi, tom.
have you heard the news?

valencia!
hi
how are you?
yeah, yeah
i heard, it's great isn't it?

mhm, exciting.

i'm glad you're texting.
how's everything?
i saw your album, and concert
...
i'm so proud of you.
(delivered at 5:32PM)
(seen at 5:32PM)

thank you.
(delivered at 5:40PM)

i was thinking of going
out with some cast members
to y'know, celebrate the news.
would you be able to make it?

of course!
send the details and
i'll be there :)

———

he said he was proud of me.
just like how he always used to say for every little achievement i did.

i couldn't help but smile,
yet i quickly stop myself remembering what he did.

it won't be that easy.