SDMN| Stories

• TN | V 08

Vikram
This is my second day of journaling, and I have some news to share. But first of all, I should refer back to the dot points so that it's formatted correctly.

My day today went alright, which I will elaborate on in a moment, and all the subjects I had today went along without a problem. It was the same routine I always follow.

Now, onto the "news" I have, and if I'm honest I don't think that it's the right word, but we will move on.

I was walking up to the library for break, up the stairs to the right of the main building as our library is on the second floor. This staircase area is usually quiet, hence why I take it.

I saw something. Just as I was turning the corner, there was a boy getting harassed. He looked uncomfortable and on the verge of tears, eyes anxiously darting around the floor. The other boy harassing him appeared tense, on edge, but powerful. Like he was both loving the moment and hating himself for it. I could've been reading him wrong though, maybe he was just an asshole.

They both looked familiar, I'm sure they're in my grade, maybe a few of my classes, too. The taller one who was being harassed looked like he was shut in on himself, hands clutching his arms as his back was against the wall. He looked like he was trying to disappear.

I was frozen in place. The other boy kept spitting hushed insults at him and occasionally pushing his shoulder or getting up in his face. He was angry, seething over something. I didn't want to get involved but I had to stop it.

I had to step in and save this boy, shield him from the fire.

But I didn't.

I kept going up the stairs, not sparing a glance back. I was afraid. Guilty and afraid. It's been eating at me all day.

Why didn't I say something? I could've told the angry boy to stop and calm down, to put out the fire that burned in his eyes. If I tried, maybe I could've reassured the other boy that he didn't deserve the harassment.

Who am I kidding, though.

"Wake up to the real world, Vikram." As my father would say. "Life is hard. People are hard. Don't get involved because you can't change people."

But I still can't help thinking that I could've helped the boys in some way.

I hate myself sometimes.

I saw the tall boy again. My blood went cold and my heart dropped. He was in the GC office. He was crying. I only caught a glimpse of his darkened, teary eyes before I ran away. Cowered away.

Why didn't I step in and prevent him from being hurt? Why?

I'm nothing more than a coward. I didn't do anything. I walked away and pretended I didn't see anything. I did exactly what the school always taught us not to do, I was a bystander to the cruelty of the world.

It's eating at me.

I should find him and apologise.

I'm sorry.

Signing off, Vik.