The reason that keeps me alive - BokuAka [English Version]

Act 1 | Chapter 1

It was cold, the wind was raging outside and every now and then small, almost invisible raindrops fell from the sky. The weather had been like this for days, and sometimes it thundered to match.
 
Akaashi zipped up his jacket, partly because of the cold air and partly because he felt safer that way. It felt invisible, and sometimes that was exactly what he wanted, even if it wouldn't make sense to some people. How many times had he had to listen to that again?
 
He would have been lying if he had said he was nervous entering the school building, because he absolutely was not. The Fukurodani had not been his first choice, but in the end, considering the circumstances, he was glad to have found a school at all where he might feel comfortable.
 
When he entered the entrance area, he saw many students his age there. Akaashi leaned against a still unoccupied wall, his hands in his jacket pocket. As if by chance, his eyes slid to the left as he looked at the building from his vantage point. The gymnasium. It was empty. By now, he realised after a quick glance at his watch, five minutes had passed as the students in the hall gradually began to stroll into the large hall where the enrolment ceremony was about to take place.
Yippee. An hour of sitting around.
 
 
As soon as he was out of the hall, he noticed the many older students with notes and signs. Some were shouting to join the basketball club, others were advertising tennis. Akaashi's attention, however, was on a girl whose sign behind her said volleyball club. His inner voice told him to go there and sign up. He wanted to. After all, he had already played as a setter in middle school, why not in high school? It would be a good change of pace for everyday life.
Akaashi shook his head and walked down the hall to his classroom.
 
When the school bell rang, his classmates immediately rushed out, home, to the gym or wherever. But Akaashi carefully packed up his things, after all he was the last one after a few seconds. "Akaashi? Could I ask you something?" his teacher asked. She too was just packing up her papers.
"Of course," he replied.
"Have you joined a club yet?"
He shook his head. "Is it compulsory?"
"No. But don't you think it could be a change? Learning is hard, and that's why you can't just study all the time. You students especially need variety. At least say you're thinking about it."
Akaashi hung his bag around himself and headed for the door. "I'll think about it."
 
 
His hands in his jacket pocket again, his zip all the way up, his head lowered: that's how he left the large school building. Just as he always did.
 
"Oh! Look!" The familiar voice made Akaashi jump up. At first he couldn't move, abruptly he stopped, then his hands started to tremble and finally he felt the cold shiver on his back. He wanted to run away, as he always did, as it would always be, as if these boys were a herd of wild animals and you yourself were trapped in the jungle and had to fight for survival every day, even though you knew you had no chance. No chance of surviving or finding your way out of there.
 
"Aww, look! I think he's scared!" When Akaashi lifted his head, he looked Shojiro straight in his deep blue eyes. How he wanted to defend himself, but his body wouldn't allow it.
 
"A greeting would be nice, mate!" Takuji kicked Akaashi violently against the crook of his knee, causing him to fall to the ground, his face in a huge puddle of water. His eyes fixed on it, mirroring his face as he slowly picked himself up, behind him were the big basketball boys.
Just as he finally plucked up the courage to ask what their problem was, Shojiro grabbed his backpack and pulled it off his back.
 
Akaashi turned around. There was a mocking, repulsive grin on Shojiro's face, a grin that told Akaashi the boy was up to something mean. He hadn't finished thinking when Shojiro had already turned his backpack around and dropped its contents into the puddle of water. Akaashi wanted to get up and prevent the latter, but Shimei grabbed him by the jacket and held him tight.
 
"Tell me, is your father still a junkie?" shouted Takuji in his ear. Akaashi felt his eyes fill with tears, but the fear and panic attack he was about to face controlled them.
 
"What do you want from me?!" he asked. The three laughed.
"Are you scared, Keiji?"
 
"I'd be scared if I were you right now."
 
Shimei dropped Akaashi to the ground.
"Don't interfere. This is none of your business!" he shouted back.
The boy who had just come up behind Shojiro showed no emotion on his face. At least it seemed that way to Akaashi.
The boy thought, his hand on his chin.
 
"You think? I don't think this boy's books are any of your business, Shimei."
Takuji took a step forward. "Are you deaf? I want you out of here!"
"Nah. I don't think I will until you let him go."
"Then mess with us, weakling."
"I'm a weakling?"
"Of course you are. You're not in control of yourself, almost crying when you don't score anymore. That's weak."
The boy laughed. "Maybe you're right. But my team isn't weak. So if you have a problem, we'll settle it three-on-three, yeah?"
 
Shojiro tossed Akaashi's backpack into the nearest puddle he saw.
"Take him. Get married. Be happy. I don't give a shit." He kicked Akaashi to the ground one last time, causing his face to land in the middle of the puddle again, then gestured for his friends to come along, and slowly they moved away from the school car park, causing relief in Akaashi. His hands stopped shaking, his eyes no longer watered.
 
The boy held out his hand to help him up, and he accepted the gesture. "Are you alright?" Akaashi nodded. The boy handed him his backpack. "It's a bit wet, I guess. Sorry."
"It's not your fault." The boy smiled.
"You're from the First?"
Akaashi nodded.
 
"What's your name?" Akaashi wiped the dirt off his jacket.
"Why?"
"No reason. I'm Bokuto."
Akaashi looked him straight in his golden eyes as he raised his head, and even months later he could still think that something had changed in that moment. In that moment itself, he wanted only one thing, and that was to get out of here, and as quickly as possible.
 
"Thank you," he murmured without looking at him. "For your help."
Bokuto tilted his head. "Are you shy?"
Akaashi looked deep into his eyes. Without saying anything back, he hooked his backpack around his arm and left the property with quick steps. However, he felt Bokuto following him.
"What class are you from?"
"Do you always ask so much?"
"No."
"And why now?"
 
Bokuto had caught up with him by now and was blocking his way by standing in front of him. "Does it matter?"
Akaashi sighed. He had been grateful that this guy had helped him, but by now he was a little annoyed with him. Especially when he didn't let him pass.
"Oh, come on!"
"I just want to meet the guy I just saved. Besides, it seems like you don't have that many friends."
"Oh yeah?"
 
Bokuto bristled. "I'm from 2-1."
"So?"
"At least tell me which club you belong to!"
Akaashi's eyebrows drew together irritably. Along with the hush of silence, he pushed past Bokuto. He felt his gaze on the back of his neck, and somehow he suddenly felt bad. Maybe the boy really just wanted to be friends with him.
 
Akaashi stopped. "1-6. No club."