Aged

I have aged.
With every breath.
With every tear.
With every fight and every shout that left my lungs.
I have aged.
Carved wrinkles on my forehead
Not by time but words alone.
Sharper than knives.
Deeper than flesh.
Scars through my heart.
Hidden out of sight.
I have aged.
In every thought.
Void of emotion.
Blasted by rage.
My feelings bleed through all the cracks
In my frail mind.
I can't no more.
I've aged so much.
How much I love you.
How deep you cut.
The wounds we give each other
Will never heal.
I wanna hold you.
I feel your pain
But I can't.
My own pain is too much.
Fury.
Despair.
I taste the blood on my own tongue.
Your hands pulling my insights.
Your words twisting the knives.
My deepest love.
My first.
The light, the joy, the endless care
Are lost, so lost.
I barely hang on to a thread
Hoping to find my way to you.
Hoping that you'll stop and see my love,
Accept my help.
Stop hurting me.
Stop hurting us.
Stop turning me in this raging monster that I am
I am so tired.
I am so old.
And every wrinkle tells of a fight
And every dying cell tells of a loss.
My loss of hope.
My loss of life.
My loss of you.
It bleeds the place inside my heart where you once were.
As if this nightmare just pulled you away
Breaking my flesh, ripping my veins.
An endless wound, forever deeper.
I have aged
Crying for you.
I have aged
Shouting at you.
Trying again and again and again
In vain.
Hopelessness.
Despair.
Depression.
Madness.
I have aged loving you.
I have aged wanting you.
I have no hope.
I have no clarity of mind.
I have no life.
Just pain.
Broken.
Insane.
Please take my hand,
Please please just stop.
Please let me reach you.
Please my love, stop.