Forgetting Sylva

Lists

Home is comforting. Home is peaceful. Home is full of people I wish would go away so that home could return to my preconceived notion.

Marc lies on his back beside me on the bed, Olivia on my other side, Tom across the end of the bed, perpendicular to the three of us. My leg throbs in its cast, but I look up at the ceiling and pretend that the pain does not exist. For a moment, the delusion exists, and then it is gone and I hurt I hurt so much but I cannot let it cripple me.

I pull in a breath and let it out again, long and even and controlled.

"All I'm saying is, this list could use a little improving," Tom says loftily, holding it above his head.

"Add improve list to the list," I say, and Olivia laughs as Tom sits up and writes it down.

"How many is that?" Marc asks.

"Well," Tom says, tucking the pencil back behind his ear. "One, go to the park. Two, use the swings at the park. Three and four relate to the sandbox and castles. Five, see a movie involving a car chase. Six, see a movie of chick-flick relations. Seven-" He pauses, looks at the paper with a confused expression on his face. "Tell Tom he is an Adonis?" I roll my eyes and he looks closely at the paper. "Come now, I'm know I'm ridiculously attractive, but that's going a little too far."

"'Ridiculously attractive' is going a little too far," I say. "Calling you an Adonis is more than a little questionable."

Tom clutches at his chest, crinkling the list between his fingers. "Cruel lady," he says dramatically.

I roll my eyes, and Olivia laughs. "Ok, someone else take the list," I say. Olivia sits up carefully, so as not to jostle me, and takes it from Tom, smoothing it out on her leg and pulling the pencil from behind his ear.

"Seven is really to go to the zoo. And that's as far as we've gotten." She taps the pencil on her knee and stares down at the paper thoughtfully.

I laugh bitterly. "My dreams are so wild."

Marcus wraps his hand around my wrist, loosely, his fingertips teasing the soft skin. "They're dreams. They can be whatever you want them to be."

I flush a little but force a smile. "Fine. But eight will be more epic that the rest."

"More epic than the zoo? That'll be pretty hard." Tom whistles through his teeth, and Olivia laughs.

They discuss what will ever be more epic than the zoo, and I hear a knocking sound from the front door. Mum's voice, quiet and polite. Dad's; booming and loud. Happy.

I frown a little, listen closer. And then smile.

Footsteps come down the hall, and a shaggy brown head peers through the doorway. "Lance," I say in greeting.

Everyone stops talking. His body follows him in, lanky but broad shouldered. He has a swimmer's body, strong and athletic. I see him kick Greaves, again and again, then shake the image from my mind.

"Hey," he says, smiling unsurely. "I just came by to see how you were doing."

"I'm good, apart from the leg. How's your sister?"

He smiles at the very mention of her and grips the back of his neck. "She's still talking about the fairy from the hospital. I- honestly, I can't thank you enough."

"Yes, you can." I point over to the chair by my dresser. "Sit." He smiles and does as I ask, a bemused expression on his face. And then he notices everyone staring at him, and shifts uncomfortably.

"Ummm, who's this, Syl?" Olivia asks, tilting her head to the side.

"Yeah, who's that?" Marcus asks, sitting up.