The Lives We Save

Ghosting

T.W.: talk of death

Tubbo stared numbly at Tommy's bed, as if hoping his friend- his brother- would sit up and smile at him, grab his tablet and call him a bitch for staring.

But nothing happened. Just like ten minutes before, and just like the ten minutes after as Tubbo layed in his bed. He couldn't move. His best friend just died. How could he get up and live life as if it never happened?

The door opened, "Tubbo?"

The boy didn't respond. He felt someone sit on his bed, but he didn't bother to look up. They brushed the hair from his eyes. Tubbo caught sight of a purple tinted black sleeve. Kristen.

"We're all worried about you." Kristen whispered, continuing to play with Tubbo's hair, "it's been half the day already."

Tubbo didn't respond.

"Are you hungry?" Kristen asked, "I know Ranboo- er, Ghostboo was making hamburgers."

Tubbo lifted his head slightly, "Ghostboo?"

Kristen gave him a small smile, "Ranboo's system formed another alter. Their name is Ghostboo. They... They seem to be a ghost. Puffy is pretty sure they formed due to Tommy's passing. It was hard on them."

Tubbo's eyes filled with tears, "why did he have do die? Why did he have to play in that goddamn waterfall? Why didn't I keep a closer eye on him!? Why-!? Why-!?"

Sobs cut off Tubbo's questions. Kristen pulled him into a hug, letting him cry into his shoulder. She rubbed his back.

"I don't know why Tommy had to die." Kristen told him, "It was an accident. The waterfalls current held him under too long. If anyone tried to go in after him, they would have drowned as well. It wasn't your fault Tubbo. It wasn't your fault."

"Why does it hurt so much?" Tubbo whimpered, his voice pinched.

"Because you loved him. We all did." Kristen said, "loving someone hurts."

"Then why bother?" Tubbo asked.

Kristen hummed, "because then we wouldn't have anyone to give flower crowns to."

Tubbo sucked in a shakey breath, "he's really gone... Isn't he."

"He is." Kristen nodded, "but that doesn't mean you have to be. Join us for lunch."

Tubbo paused. He wasn't hungry. He didn't want to eat if Tommy wasn't going to be there, making funny sounds with his tablet.

Tubbo closed his eyes and nodded. Kristen gave him a smile.

"Okay. Let's go." Kristen told him.

Tubbo nodded, letting Kristen take his hand and guide him out of bed like he was a small child. He didn't mind it though. It reminded him of when he had to get Tommy up when they were young, still moving from place to place as to not get caught.

"Tubbo!"

The boy looked up to see he was in the kitchens, with Ghostboo smiling at him. Phil was sitting at a table with Techno and Wilbur. The king gave him a tense smile.

"Tubbo I'm a ghost now!" Ghostboo smiled, "isn't that awesome! God, there's no stress anymore- why didn't I become a ghost sooner! Being dead is great!"

Tubbo flinched at their words. There was nothing great about death. Just bitter emptiness. He pushed past Ghostboo to sit at the furthest corner of the table.

Ghostboo's smile faltered as they watched Tubbo with curiosity. Kristen came up next to them and placed a hand on their shoulder.

"Give him time." She told them.

Ghostboo nodded, turning back to the burgers he was making, humming lightly to himself.

Tubbo sat staring at the table. It was too quiet. He hated it.

"The funeral is today." Phil said quietly.

Tubbo sucked in a breath, "I don't want to go..."

Phil blinked at the boy, "I thought you of all people would want to go the most."

Tubbo shook his head, "I know he's dead. I saw him. Why should I see him like that again."

Phil went quiet, folding his hands on the table, "cause it's your last chance to see him ever again."

"The last time I saw Tommy was that morning." Tubbo spat, "he's not in that body anymore. There's no point in talking to a corpse."

"Then talk to us instead." Surprisingly, it was Techno who spoke up.

The pinkette hadn't looked up from the table during the entire conversation. His eyes were fixated on the wood, counting the rings while listening. Keeping his mind occupied.

"It'll be easier for us too." Wilbur told him, "we can all move forward, together. We can all grieve."

Tubbo's lip quivered, "I just want Tommy back..."

"I know. We all do." Phil whispered.

Ghostboo sat down next to Tubbo, who immediately hugged the taller. Tubbo felt Ghostboo wrap his arms around him. And he cried. He just cried. That's all you can do in these situations.

And when the rest of the family joined the hug, none of them minded. They were there for each other. All of them hurt, all of them grieving.

From far above, looking down on them with a young goddess by his side, a boy with bright blue eyes and golden hair smiled, sending down a single, small white daisy.