I have been perusing the menu for the last fifteen minutes and there is still no sign of the guy my friends have been trying to set me up with. I give in and order a cup of coffee for myself, hoping that atleast that will put me out of my misery.
Just when I was about to pick up my phone and tell my friends; who for some reason think they're cupid, that the guy they set me up with is either late or a no- show, the door opened and he walked in. After apologising profusely and giving vague excuses, that also (un)intentionally make him sound rather busy and important, he sat down. He ordered an expresso shot (psychopath) and a salad (red flags waving high) and proceeded to talk about himself. While my brain began to debate whether he is more boring or narcissistic, he squinted at me and said 'has anyone ever told you that you have pretty eyes?'.
I smiled sheepishly to hide my disinterest and lack of response.
Luckily, the date came to an end and I went back home with a reassurance that I dont have to sit through that again.
As I lay in bed that night, his words came back to my mind - "has anyone ever told you that you have pretty eyes?" . Plenty have, I thought; but would they think that even after they knew the kind of ugly truth and harsh reality they saw on a daily basis?
Doctors have no emotions for a reason. They see injustice, pain and suffering everyday. With that thought, I closed my eyes and fell asleep.
.
My typical saturdays don't involve going out to party; with an exception of today. I'm at what is apparently the most happening place in town and I see why. I'm here with my friends, who for some reason seem to know everyone. I see them speaking to a lean, rather charming guy with a welcoming smile and cautiously walk up to them. They introduce us. "Hi, I'm Aarush" he says and looks straight into my eyes. I would've felt intimidated if it wasn't for a little voice in my head that said- 'His eyes. They know. They've seen it too'.
We began talking and going . Each time I grew more and more curious about the story his eyes were trying to tell. With time, I learnt what they have been trying to say all along- that they too have seen pain, disappointment and heartbreak; but that wasn't all.
What I was drawn to the most was a glimmer of hope that saught to be saved- not by me, but by himself. All he needed from me was a hand to hold while he figured things out on his own. So that's what I wanted to be- the person he can lean on while he works on himself.
.
It's been over a year since Aarush and I started seeing each other.
It's a saturday night and I'm sitting at a nice comfortable niché in his pub, dining with my possé.
I have come to love the Saturday shenanigans that happen here. I can unwind to good food, music and company.
I see a lot of funny things happen per square foot at this bar because people can be so out of control when they're intoxicated- people trying to get ahead in line to get their drink, waiters maneuvering their body between breakdancers, a busy crowd keeping up with the DJ's beats, couples doing everything they can to rub it in on the singles, a father trying to calm his toddler (wait, what ?).
Amidst all the chaos, I look around for Aarush, only to find that he's already looking at me. We smile at each other and look away; only to find each other in the crowd again and each time a little voice in my head whispered "ah, there you are".
.
Later that night I lay in bed, smiling. I wondered how magnanimous life has been to me.
I close my eyes and begin to picture my journey so far. Starting my life over in another city was not easy. You always leave a part of your heart in your hometown- which makes long distance calls to your memories every now and then. Dating someone with my schedule used to feel like substantial effort. The fact that men these days are all about themselves doesn't help make their case. Being a doctor isn't easy either. You have to find a perfect balance between being empathetic and emotionally detached to be able to make the best decision for your patients.
Amidst all the fretting in my brain, I remembered how lucky I am to have found a home in this city, to have made friends and acquaintances, to have a job that's satisfying and for having met Aarush.
Life was anything but fair to him; but that undying glimmer of hope to not give up made me see that people don't need to be healed. They're capable of healing themselves. Their ability to overcome anything life throws at them deserves more credit than we give them.
All they need is some time, patience and a hand to hold.
My eyes met many eyes thus far, but they only ever got lost in his.
