Forever Mine (ROYAL RIDERS SERIES BOOK #2)

35| Lost

He paused and then shook his head softly. "Maybe I don't." 

I blinked, feeling taken aback. 

"I don't, Amelia. I don't trust you when it comes to taking care of yourself. Because you don't. You become selfless and you throw everything away for me." 

"Because I love you, Michael!" 

"That's not love, Amelia." 

I stared at him in disbelief. "Take that back. Right. Now," I demanded, my voice rising. 

"Fine. I'll take it back. But if it's love, then you should understand me too. If you're willing to give it all away for me, for us... Then why wouldn't I want to do the same?" 

"It's not about what you want, it can't be, don't you get that? It's about what you can and cannot afford to lose. And your career is the latter," I explained. 

"And you are what? The former? No." 

"That's what I'm trying to tell you!" I snapped, standing up in front of him. "You won't lose me, don't you understand?! If I stay your assistant and people find out we're together, do you think I'll be able to keep this job? Did you not see what happened to Vince and Demi? You'll lose me if I stay, Michael!" 

"No, I won't," he huffed, standing up and looking down at me. 

I groaned softly, dragging my hands down my face. "Michael. If I'm not your assistant, let's just say. And I'm only your girlfriend. Then doesn't that mean nobody has any fucking right to tell us if we can or cannot be together?" 

"Amelia, nobody has any right to tell us if we can or cannot be together, period. Assistant or not, I don't fucking care." He took a step forward, towering over me more than he already was. 

"There are rules. Rules that I agreed to follow when I signed the contract and took this job. I'd lose everything if I got fired. And you'd lose me too." 

He shook his head. "No, I won't." 

"Why are you doing this?" I whined, hitting my fists against his chest multiple times. I exhaled, resting my head against his chest, fisting his shirt. I closed my eyes, falling into thoughts. I don't even want to imagine it. Losing this job and him with it. But I know it clearly that if I don't leave this job myself and if the world finds out about us before we confess, then I know for a fact that I'll be fired. 

If I'm fired, then the public will not be so nice about our relationship and accept it. They'll be more stubborn, have nastier things to say not just about me but also about Michael. It would harm him and his career so fucking much and I can't just stand by and let that happen. He sighed and put his arms around me as I felt hot tears rolling down my cheeks. 

He put his chin on top of my head and let out a shaky sigh. "Amelia, I trust you," he said softly. "I do. But I need you to trust me too. I'm not going to let you go and I'm not letting you lose this job. We have six months, right? So, please... Let's just think about it as time goes on." He grabbed my shoulders, pushing me away until he could see me. I kept my head down and quickly wiped my cheeks. "Are you crying?" He grabbed either side of my face and lifted it, forcing me to look at him. 

I shook my head, blinking the rest of the tears away. 

He stared at me, wiping my cheeks using his thumbs slowly. "Amelia. I promise you, we are not going to lose each other again. Is that what's scaring you?"