Pretend
I pretend that I don't feel the things I do
I hide my true feelings from everyone
I never let them go
If I feel them slipping then I go to the bathroom
And the stall becomes my friend
It comforts and gives me a place to release my feelings
I am glad that I have a place where I can cry in peace
And I'm glad that no one knows
They wouldn't be able to handle half of what I go through daily
I feel so many things daily that it almost drives me insane
But I keep hold on my mind and try harder
I've tried to tell myself those feelings don't exist
But they do
And I try to push those feelings away
Like they don't matter
But it gets harder and harder to hold them in
I'm afraid that one day they'll slip
And I won't have time to cover for it
Then people will know
They'll think I'm acting like a baby
For crying
But they don't know
How hard it is to be me
To have people telling you what
You are allowed and not allowed to do
And that you must obey the things they tell you
It's almost like they are trying to rule my life
Well I'm not perfect
I'm far from it
And I never will be
