Te middle school life of Ashley Smith

Chapter 1 - Ashley meets the manliest man

Note: THIS IS SATIRE AND NOT MEANT TO BE OFFENSIVE

Credits to  Vxtrix for collabing w/ me to make this ✨amazing✨ story!

I yawn like a graceful Cygnus and stretch with the nimbleness of a Felis catus. I know. I'm like, such a nerd, "I'm like, so amazingly UGLY." I whined as I prettily blinked my beautiful blue orbs and waved my soft, blonde hair with sparkly, natural golden highlights. I sighed as I posted a 'Just woke up' post on my Instagram. Oh no! I realized, running my perfectly manicured fingers through my beautiful soft, blonde hair. I'm late for school! I sophisticatedly jumped up from my plush extra soft mattress and put on my clothes: a black skater hoodie and tights. I'm not emo. I'm just NOT LIKE OTHER girls.

 I walked to school as I flipped my hair cutely every 0.2 seconds. "Ugh." I groaned as the popular girls Tiffany, Brittany, and Mackenzie strutted past me. They were so girly! I couldn't relate to them ONE bit. You know, I'm just not like other girls! "Who do you think you are, you loser?" Tiffany, their leader, mocked me. "S-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-sorry..." I stuttered nervously. Ugh, I'm so shy! I guess I'm really not like other girls. As I opened my locker, something beautiful brushed past me. I swept around, curiously batting my beautiful blue orbs. "H-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-hi..." I said to the beauty. "Hey." he said in a deep, manly voice."My name's Tom Billy Bob Joe." I blushed furiously. He was exactly 60'1 and had a luscious, pee-blond mohawk. So... manly! Suddenly Tiffany, Mackenzie, and Brittany sashayed over to Tom Billy Bob Joe. He looked over, concerned. His (also) pee-blond goatee swished around majestically. "Come here, kenny! Let's hold hands in front of the school!" Tiffany squealed. "H-hold hands?" he rumbled in his deep, manl voice. His lips swayed in the wind as his knees trembled with anxiety. Then, it was like a light bulb had struck his head. "Heheh, girls. Look at my arms." He flexed his beautiful, veiny, juicy biceps and Tiffany, Brittany, and Mackenzie stopped admiring his thick, muscly, hairy legs and went straight to his biceps. Then they fainted from an overdose of manliness. But I wasn't like other girls, so I didn't faint. "W-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w--w-w-well, I guess I have to go now." I said. Tom Billy Bob Joe nodded. "What's your name?" "A-a-a--a-a-a-a-a--a-a-ashley." I stutter out. He actually cared about my name! "Okay, see you." he rumbled. He blinked his dark blue orbs.