Wanted: The FanPeople Love Greg

Camping Ch3

A/N as always, Greg, Mike, and FABAE belong to ShyCourage

"We're here! Everybody out!" Greg announced as he put the van in park, seemingly in the middle of nowhere.

Michael poked Spider-Man. "Wakey wakey, Sleeping Beauty." Spider-Man didn't move an inch. "C'mon, Spidey! Now is no time for a nap!"

"What's happening?" Brian, the man who loaded the van, asked after making eye contact with his friend, Charles.

"The Webhead is out." Michael shook his head. "It's almost impressive. I can never sleep in the car."

"He didn't get carsick when reading, either," Charles pointed out. "I'm a little jealous."

Greg twisted to look at the men in the back. "Hey, what's the holdup?"

"Spider-Man won't wake up," Brian explained.

Greg's face softened. "I can't imagine he gets much sleep with how late he patrols. You guys go ahead and help Xander with unloading. I'll take care of it." The off-duty officers complied quickly. Greg moved to the seat next to the teenager. He shook his shoulder. "Hey, Kiddo, I need you to wake up. We're here."

Spider-Man groaned. "Five more minutes, Uncle Ben."

"Sorry, Kid. I don't know your uncle. It's just me, Greg."

"Greg?" Spider-Man yawned and rubbed his eyes. He stopped suddenly and turned his head. "Greg! How- how long have we been here?"

Greg shook his head with a smile. "Not very long, don't worry."

Spider-Man buried his head in his hands. "OhmygoshIcalledyouUncleBen,didn'tI? Thisissoembarrassing!"

Greg laughed. "Spider-Man, I don't even know who Uncle Ben is. You haven't told me."

Spider-Man sighed, shrinking in on himself from a combination of mortification and regret. "He passed away a while ago, but he and May took me in when I was younger."

"Well then, I'm honored to have been compared to him."

"Can we just- y'know?"

Nodding, Greg left the vehicle, the vigilante hot on his tail. "How much sleep did you get last night, anyway?" Greg asked as he began to search for his bag.

"It was pretty good for a weekday. I got a good two sleep cycles in, so don't worry," Spider-Man said. He seemed awfully tense for a boy telling someone not to worry.

"Uh, Spider-Man?" Michael frowned. "A sleep cycle is about ninety minutes."

"That's only three hours," Charles added.

"It's been worse. On Monday, I was running off of a forty minute doze. I made sure to get a nap in before that day's patrol though, so it wasn't a huge deal."

"You're a very concerning person," Charles winced.

"Do care about your body, at all?" Greg asked, concerned.

"I do. I just care about other things more."

"Your priorities are whack, man," Michael scoffed.

"Believe me, I've been made aware." Greg made eye contact with the teenager and smiled a knowing smile. They both knew Greg was thinking about Spider-Man's mysterious girlfriend who had a special hatred for bullet wounds. "Greg, I know what you're thinking, and I'd like you to stop, please."

Michael glanced between them curious. "What is he thinking?"

Greg glanced between the group. "How much am I allowed to say?"

Spider-Man sighed as he picked up his things. "You don't know any real specifics, so the only thing at risk here is my pride because I've only ever gotten teased about this."

"In everyone's defense, you can be very easy to tease sometimes."

"And there's yet another fact that I'm painfully aware of."

"We still have no idea what you're talking about," Xander commented inquisitively.

"Oh it's nothing much," Greg admitted. "It's just that Spider-Man has a very worried girlfriend who is painfully aware as to how many times he's been shot."

"She doesn't know every time I've gotten shot. I've managed to hide a couple bullet wounds from her."

"You're horrible," Greg laughed, ushering Spider-Man to follow as they made their way to the clearing where they'd be setting up camp. "Don't tell me you've made her stitch you up before."

"Hey, she brought that on herself. I keep telling her that it's unnecessary, and that I can handle it!"

Michael turned to him with a sly grin. "Maybe she just wants a view of shirtless Spidey."

"You guys are the worst, oh my gosh."

"Please," Michael snorted, "you feel blessed to be in our presence, if anything."

"So blessed."

"Okay, Spider-Man," Greg said with a sense of finality, putting an end to that conversation. "Ready to learn the fine art of tent-building?"

"Ready is my middle name. It's Spider-Ready-Man."

"Your parents must have been feeling pretty creative then," Greg quipped. "Okay, first step is spreading out this tarp. We need to make sure there aren't any annoying sticks or rocks underneath because then we'll have to sleep on them, and that would be uncomfortable."

"I'll have FABAE identify where the hidden ones are while I get the big ones," Spider-Man declared. At Greg's quizzical look, he explained further. "FABAE is an AI built into my mask. Turn up the volume and say 'hi', please."

"Hello, Greg," FABAE said loudly as Spider-Man ducked down to start and gather all the potential annoyances up. "It's so nice to finally meet you."

Greg gaped at the voice for a moment. For the first time since Spider-Man's age had been confirmed, he began to question how old he really was. There was no way that a teenager could-

"I really appreciate you keeping my baby alive."

Spider-Man scoffed. "I thought we were past this, FABAE. Besides, if anything, you would be my baby because I made you."

"I think we both know that our dynamic says enough about who is whose baby."

"You made her?" Greg finally gasped out.

"Yeah, a while ago," Spider-Man answered dutifully. "She's so protective."

"If I'm not, then you'd get yourself killed within an hour."

"I survived before I made you, y'know? Besides, I don't remember programming you to monitor my calorie intake."

"You have enhanced metabolism! I worry!"

Spider-Man looked up at Greg and scoffed. "Girls and their worrying, amiright?"