y/n sat lazily at the shop that they worked at. It wasn't that busy of a day but any day of work was boring to y/n.
"Why can't I meet a hot sugar daddy dilf to give me money. Life is so unfair," y/n said to themself
"I know where you can find a hot sugar daddy dilf to give you money" said a customer y/n didn't even notice.
"AHH WHY ARE YOU LISTENING TO MY MONOLOGUE?!?!!?"
"I need apples bitch."
"oh ok then"y/n begins to bag some apples only to realize that they run a knock off hooters and they were actually bagging the fragments of reality. Out of embarrassment, y/n tries to apologize but can't seem to because they have a very bad stutter.
"I-I-I'm-m-m-m uh um s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-sor-r-ry we-e-e-e don't-t-t have-e-e-e-e ap-p-p-p-les here-e-e-e"
"Well I need apples bitch go into the woods and get some dumbass"
"o-o-o-o-o-o-ok" y/n then gets up from their knock off hooters workplace and goes out the door, but they get stuck in the doorway because they are too thicc. With the help of their Sonic the Hedgehog Quartz Plastic Strap, Blue, 15.5 Casual Watch (Model: SNC4016) featuring Sonic the Hedgehog character on the fidget spinner dial with Sonic and Sonic rings on the strap, they were able to get out.
Y/n walked into the woods. They soon came to a stop when they saw a sign that said "beware ogre" which they ignored and kept walking.
Y/n kept walking until they bumped into something? Or maybe someone??
Y/n looked up to see the most hot, beautiful, handsome, pretty, stunning, attractive, good-looking, charming, lovely, heavenly, gorgeous, sexy, divine, appealing, exquisite, fair, cute, sightly, glamourous, winsome, ravishing, irresistible, tasty guy she has ever seen. Y/n panics to think of something to say.
"Ya like jazz?" y/n says cutely
"get out of my swamp." the hot man said
Y/n can't think of a way to flirt with this breathtaking man, so they pull out "https://parade.com/1039985/marynliles/pick-up-lines/ the Book(New York best seller)" and reads the first pick up line.
"I hope you know CPR, because you just took my breath away!"
"Owo you sussy baka" Says the scrumptious man as he blushes like a baka.
"So what's your name bb? Come around here often" Y/n asks seductively
"I am shrek and I do cum around here sometimes" Shrek blushes like a baka
"Shrek is sexy name" Y/n says letting the word "Shrek" roll off their tongue like gamer girl bathwater off a basement dwellers skin.
"And that is a very sexy Sonic the Hedgehog Quartz Plastic Strap, Blue, 15.5 Casual Watch (Model: SNC4016) featuring Sonic the Hedgehog character on the fidget spinner dial with Sonic and Sonic rings on the strap" Shrek says noticing the absolute drip that Y/n was pulling off right now.
"Thank you. Those are some nice Razer Kraken Kitty RGB USB Gaming Headset: THX 7.1 Spatial Surround Sound - Chroma RGB Lighting - Retractable Active Noise Cancelling Mic - Lightweight Aluminum Frame - for PC - Quartz Pink headphones you pull them off well." Y/n blushes at the compliment.
Y/n then realises that they need to get back to their knock off hooters to serve customers or they will go out of business.
"I need to get back to my workplace it was great meeting you Shrek" says Y/n, sad that they have to leave
"Goodbye Y/n here is my number call me" Shrek says handing Y/n a piece of paper that says "Call me ;) -Daddy Shrek"
"I will goodbye Shrexy -I mean Shrek" Y/n says as they turn to leave.
"Goodbye mommy sorry mommy sorry mommy sorry mommy sorry mommy sorry" says Shrek stumbling over his own words.
__________________
What did I just write?????
Anywayssss I am going to sleep now so goodnight to any poor soul that got to the end of this.
Stay hydrated and stay alert for I am watching you through the small crack in the door.
YOU ARE READING
The ogre and the normie (shrek x reader)
FanfictionY/n runs into an ogre in the woods nearby their house. Ever since that moment they couldn't stop thinking about that hot green man. However the love between a person and an ogre is seen as "gross" and "disgusting." Will the love between y/n and the...
