My Dearest Girl

The Note

"Lina, sweetie are you sure you don't need a ride?" Asked Kit Ellison as she turned the knob to her only daughters bedroom door as she had done every night for the past 20 years. Upon entering the room she cocked her head to the side in a concerned manner. Evalina was perched on the edge of her bed in silence, holding nothing but the letter.

Kit sat down next to Evalina, and brushed her dark wispy hair out of her face. It was then that she noticed a small tear traveling down her daughters face. The tear dropped onto the cream colored letter she was gripping tightly. Lina turned to Kit and through a teary breath mouthed, "Thank you mom.." The two embraced in silence, taking in the moment of two worlds about to collide.

Wiping a tear off of Lina's face, Kit nodded her head in encouragement. "I have loved being your mother for the past 19 years and I will never not be your mother," she had to catch her breath before saying the next part, "..but I am not the woman who carried you and I think it is important for you to connect..with..that part of you." Kit nervously twisted a strand of her blonde hair, causing her to reflect on all the physical differences between her and her daughter.

The day she brought Evalina home from the hospital she was in love, as every new parent is. However instead of obsessing over who's nose the baby got, she was obsessing over who was this baby really? Sure she was an innocent bundle of joy but she had a story nonetheless. It was within the first few weeks that there was no mistaking Evalina's dark hair, and vividly dark eyes were a trait passed on from her mysterious family. She even developed a birth mark in the shape of a tiny heart on her left side.

Kit was always open with Evalina about her adoption. She did the best she could to prevent her daughter from having to hide the fact that was curious about her birth family. From adoption playgroups to online chat rooms for single adopting mothers Kit felt she covered every base. She celebrated the adoption of her daughter but also mourned that she did not have all the answers as Evalina got older.

It was on her fourteenth birthday that Evalina declared she wanted to meet her birth mother. Kit had prepared for this but was still surprised at the sudden request. She did everything she could to get more information than what she was given fourteen years prior but the agency wouldn't budge. "The records are sealed, this is how the birth mother requested the process be. We're very sorry but we cannot give you anymore information than the note she left for the child." That was the message Kit received repeatedly. She knew the adoption was closed but she thought there must be a loophole somewhere. Instead, Kit presented her daughter with the letter her birth mother left on her fourteenth birthday. Kit hadn't actually read it and was saving it for the moment that Evalina requested contact.

The letter was more of a note, inside an envelope that was inside of a manilla envelope. When opened for the first time in fourteen years it smelled strongly of a floral perfume and cigarettes. Young Evalina opened the envelope nervously and stared at without saying a word. It was short and sweet, in loopy cursive letters.

"My dearest girl, this world was too cruel for us to be together. May you know peace and love."

The letter contained nothing else but those two sentences. Kit felt sorry for Evalina. She was too young to understand the letter, well more of a note. It almost felt like it was making a mockery of her daughter who had anxiously anticipated this letter the moment she heard of its existence. Kit was surprised when Evalina held onto the note and treated it like her most prized possession. "Mom, it smells like her. She's real."

But now, five years later, she sat with her daughter who was a young woman now as she prepared for the funeral of the mother she never met. The note had been stored away until today, it still faintly smelled of floral perfume and cigarettes. Again, it almost felt like the woman was mocking the poor girl.

"I'm sorry you had to meet her this way sweetie but I am happy you will finally be getting some answers." Kit said quietly. Evalina kissed her mothers cheek and stood up slowly. She adjusted the hem of her black dress that Kit had taken her to pick out and blotted her tears.

Evalina reached for the pearls that were passed down from her grandmother, Kit's mother and placed them on her neck. As she fastened the clasp she marveled over the fact that she was going to her birth mothers funeral. "Mom, I just can't believe the adoption was closed and so heavily guarded from any information getting out but they were able to send me an invitation to her funeral?" Kit nodded in agreement.

They had received a inconspicuous letter simply addressed to "Miss. Evalina Ellison" with no return address. Upon opening it was just a typed address on card stock with the words "In loving memory, a great friend, mentor and daughter. Please join us to celebrate the life of the woman who brought us all such joy". There was no photo of the woman and no name interestingly enough. On the back of the card read "Dearest Evalina, I hope that we can finally meet. Please join us in celebrating your mother's life. She was a wonderful woman, I hope you will come to see for yourself. A car will be sent for you. -A. W."

There was no doubt that the invite was real. Evalina just knew, from the moment she saw the outside of the envelope that it had to do with her mother who she had yearned for, for years. Most people called her Lina and didn't realize it was even a nickname but this letter was addressed to an Evalina. So formal, so it must be important. She was filled with questions such as how did they find her so easily? And who exactly was A.W. ?