Beefcake Deku: Remake Edition

A Very Long Prologue/Recap of How My Life Took a Deep Nosedive

"All it takes is one bad day to reduce the sanest man alive to lunacy. That's how far the world is from where I am. Just one bad day. You had a bad day once. Am I right? I know I am. Why else would you dress up as a flying rat? You had a bad day and it drove you as crazy as everybody else. Only you won't admit it. You have to keep pretending that life makes sense, that there is some point to all this struggling. God, you make me want to puke!"

-The Joker, Batman: The Killing Joke

This wasn't supposed to happen. 

All I want is to have a fun, relaxing day with my soon-to-be adopted daughter and my adopted son at the beach with their multiple moms.

It was supposed to be my day off where none of them lusted for me, and were rational for once.

But... THEY had to ruin EVERYTHING.

Ruin everything that he oh so desperately needed.

If it isn't the girls, the boys, the teachers, the pro heroes or that fucking stalker rat thing... Then count on the villains to ruin his goddamn day! 

"Ninth, don't do it. Do not give in to your anger."

"ZuZu, calm down and think about this. Look, I'll let you rest on my thighs after you deal with the League of Villains. How about that?"

Excuse me?

"Hey, Izubaby! Do you want to have hot, raw sex with me after this?"

Fuck you, you crazy bitch!

"I heard you fucked my mom and  sister, Midoriya. For that, I will never forgive you."

NO, I DID NOT!

"If I can't kill All Might. Then I can kill his son instead!"

You're fucking dead.

Then everything turned black.

Two Years Ago
Musutafu, Japan 21XX

Four score and seven years ago- Shit. Um. Fourteen years ago, I was just a quirkless skinny kid, desperately wanting to be a hero. Like my idol, All Might, the Symbol of Peace. My childhood consisted of constant beatings, bullying, and humiliation from my classmates and teachers. My childhood friend, Katsuki Bakugou, was the source of it all. Throughout kindergarten, elementary school, and middle school. It was the same shit, different day.

I eat, I breathe, I duck and weave, run, game, and repeat all of it the very next day. While it was a toxic and highly stressful routine, it helped me develop and improve my cardio, endurance and reaction time. That was the only benefit I got out of that. But all of that ended when I changed drastically.

For better or worse

It was at the halfmark towards the end of the school year. My middle teacher announced that the end is nigh. And that we are approaching the time where we get to go choose our own high school. If you had known me back then, I died a bit on the inside and cringed at the thought of everyone knowing where I'm going to after school ends. Bakugou, the B-rated shounen rival character that he is, inflates his big ass ego and announced that he is going to UA high school. In return, I slap my forehead with full force and sighed deeply.

I am tired of hearing this man's voice, Jesus Christ. Can someone punch him in the gullet, please?

Naturally, my teacher, the fucking twat that he is. Thinks that it is a good idea to mention where I'm going. Me. Izuku Midoriya. A skinny, socially awkward, anxious, jumpy, paranoid, and introverted 14 year old who looks  like he's about to bust a dance move in the middle of class. Unfortunately, the teacher announced my intention of going to UA. Sending everyone into a laughing fit. Bakugou, naturally, got mad at me and used his quirk to intimidate me. Which I promptly acted scared for his own amusement.