𝐂𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐈𝐕𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐃 || 𝐁𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐞 𝐄𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐡 𝐀𝐔

Chapter Thirty-Four

It felt like I was one incident away from being hospitalized again, which is what scared me. Last time I was in the hospital I was in there for almost 2 months cause I was underage and wasn't allowed to discharge myself. My mom was too busy with church to even come and sign the stupid forms. Telling me I would be better off there anyway. This time I don't know what would happen, I have Billie now and I couldn't hurt her like that.

It was too much for me that I just kinda shut down, not wanting to feel anything for fear I would go through with it.

"Do you think you could stay a little while longer?" I asked her.

"Of course I can. I would have to go home first and get some extra clothes but I shouldn't be gone for more than 30 minutes, and hour at the most. Are you gonna be okay here?"

"Yeah I think so."

"Okay what about your mom?"

I scoffed.
"At this point I really don't give a shit. She can rot in hell for all I care."

"Alright well I'm still gonna use the window just to be safe. I'll be back soon okay?" She cupped my face and kissed my forehead.

"Okay."

"Please call me if you need anything alright?"

I nodded my head and she gave me a quick kiss. She hesitated for a little bit before she hugged me tight.

"I love you. You don't have to say it back until you're ready, I just want you to know."

"I do know."

Once she left I blew out a breath I felt like I had been holding forever. I didn't mean to keep how I was feeling from her, I just didn't want her to worry about me.

While she was gone I decided to continue my drawings, it would help me cope for the time being. Although it was quickly interrupted as I heard a hard knock on my door.

"Young lady open this door right now!"

"What do you want?"

"Eleanor I do not have time today, open the door."

I groaned loudly but opened it anyway as my bitch of a mother barged into my room with a duffle bag. She made a bee line for my closer and started throwing clothes inside.

"What are you doing?"

"Taking action. Since you can't seem to get over this gay thing, you're going to spend some time with some people who can help you."

I followed her into my bathroom as she started throwing my toiletries in the bag as well.

"What?! That's ridiculous I don't need help mom! You can't just send me away and think that's gonna stop me from liking girls!"

"Well it's either that or you're finding some where else to live because I have had enough of this! Once you have been healed, then and only then will you be allowed back in this house! So pick one!"

"Are you fucking crazy! You're seriously going to throw me out onto the streets because I think girls are attractive!?"

"I'm giving you a choice here Eleanor. Either go to this place or leave. It's your choice, I'm not forcing you to do anything."

"You're are such a fucking bitch!" I shouted, not believing this was happening right now.

"You will not talk to me that way I am your mother!"

"YOU DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING WANT ME! YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO CLAIM THE MOTHER TITLE! WHAT KIND OF MOTHER THROWS HER UNDERAGE KID OUT ONTO THE STREETS!"

I screamed my lungs out at her for the first time. Not holding anything back. I screamed and I screamed until my vocal chords hurt. Tears ran down my face from anger and sadness and I didn't even try to stop myself.

She slapped me hard across my cheek sending me tumbling backwards. She yanked me up by my arm and literally dragged me downstairs.

"That's it! Until you can learn to respect me and until you get rid of this gayness you can't stay here!"

"Where am I supposed to go!?" I cried.

"Why don't you try your little faggot friends house! And do not come back until you have gotten this straightened out!"

She threw my body and I went tumbling to the ground hearing the door slam. Hot tears ran down my cheeks as I sat there trying to process what the hell just happened.

She did it, she actually did it. She kicked me out. I felt my entire world crumble in that moment, and there was only one thing on my mind.

It's time. Do it now.

I can't. I need to go to Billie.

She'll only hold you back. Just do it. You know you want to.

I can't. It would devastate her.

She'll get over it. Just do it before she comes back. You'll regret it if you don't.

I contemplate for a second. It would destroy Billie, but I would finally be free.

Free of the pain.

With tears running down my face I shakily stand up as I make my way to the only place that seemed fit.

Me and Billie's spot by the falls.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

A/N: welp. one last chapter to go.

how we feeling ladies, gentlemen, and others?

Remember to take care of yourself babies and if you feel like this then please seek help from someone. Because you are not alone <3