Tsunami

|"Roke Na Ruke, Naina.."|

"Grief is like the ocean,
 it comes in waves, ebbing and flowing. 
 Sometimes, the water is calm and,
 sometimes, it's overwhelming.
All we can do is, learn to swim."
― Vicki Harrison

*****************

"Tu jo nazron ke saamne,
kal hoga nahi..

Tujhko dekhe bin main,
mar na jaun kahi..

"Where are you, Mumma? They say that our loved ones are always around us, their spirit never leaving us, completely. Then, why can't I feel you, Mumma?" She whispered to the gentle falling shower, as she rocked her sixteen years-old self, to and fro. "Have-Have you forgotten me, Ma? Please Ma, don't do that. I still need you." She pleaded, her eyes filling with moist tears as she inhaled the musky scent of the Earth. "Perhaps, you are in everything I do, everything I see and feel, this soft blowing wind, these giant, fat raindrops and maybe even these amorphous yet beautiful clouds. But as long as I am not sure, as long as you don't give me any sign, I won't believe it. After all, what good have I done in this little of my life, to deserve you, have you with me, even in your afterlife, when you have left this world and are free from its responsibilities?" She whispered to her silent companion, her potted plant, Gappu, in hopes that perhaps he would transfer her message to her mother.

"Monami, where are you? Why are you not following your schedule, the timetable that I had especially designed for you?" Her father's sudden shout broke her trance-like state, as she quickly wiped away her tears and pasted a smile on her face, hiding her precious Gappu behind her back.

"I am in the garden, Papa. It was raining, so I thought to enjoy the shower for some time." She answered back, forcing some cheerful nonchalance in her voice. 

"Well,  you thought wrong, beta. Instead of wasting your time in these pesky little things, you should have decided to study another chapter. Chalo, come with me, and do it now. What do you see, in this rain anyways, it's so muddy, dirty and unpleasant." Her father replied, wrinkling his nose in disgust as he dragged her back into the house, not even bothering about his daughter's red eyes and tear-stricken face.

"But my exams just finished yesterday!" She muttered to herself.

"What was that, hmm? You haven't completed the whole medical syllabus, have you?" He questioned, snidely.

"No, Papa. I am sorry. I will go to my room and do just that." She murmured, her heart hurting at the disdain and displeasure in his tone.

"Good, I hope you know that I am pushing you for your own good, so that you can uphold this family's legacy, my legacy, when the time comes, and have a bright future ahead, you know, one surrounded with comfort and luxury?"

"Yes, Papa, I understand." She replied, with an artificial smile as she moved towards her room, only to find that her father had already left, not bothering to even wait for her reply.

"I don't know how I will do this without you, Mumma. Without being able to see you and your loving smile, I don't know how I will live, Ma."

Tujhko bhool jaun, kaise
Maane na manaun, kaise
Tu bata...

"Karan, for how long, huh? For how long will you stay cooped up in this shell of yours, not speaking to anyone without being forced to, not interacting ,and not even going to your training? It has been an year already. What are you doing, Karan and why?" His bhabhi asked from outside of his room, which he had locked from inside.