So...we all feel nothing sometimes. Don't we? We so desperately try to hide that fact, because we feel ashamed and confused. Because...why would one even feel nothing? Can you even feel nothing? After all it's nothing. And why are we feeling this nothing?
Is it because we did something wrong? Is it some sort of punishment? For something we did? Or said? Or thought? Or is it, because we are broken and there is nothhing we can do against that nothing? Well...for once I can say that it is not because we did something wrong. It's not because we made too many mistakes or are just being ungrateful. It's because something isn't right. Maybe something grave in our life just happened. Death of a loved one, loosing a job, breakup, all sorts of heartaches and things that make us feel like we are a failure. The feeling that it just is and that we have to accept that. The knowing that it's not gonna get better and the accepting without hope, because hope is dangerous, isn't it? And the pain. The pain we don't want and shoved somewhere in the back of our head or heart.
"Will it ever go away?" That's what we'll ask after a while. Because no matter how tempting it sounds, feeling nothing is not great. All the joy you miss out on, all the little things you miss out on. Suddenly christmas is not this wonderful holiday full of eating a bunch of self-made cookies and buying presents whilst humming christmas songs, but just christmas. Another holiday that passes by and will return next year. Something unecessary that we don't feel like has any importance in our life. The same with the own birth day, eastern, yule, sabbat, or whatever you celebrate and believe in.
So...will it ever go away? After all it has to. At some point, right? Right? All I know is, that it won't go away if we don't recognize why it's there. Maybe it happened because we were and are unhappy, because we don't like our job and just live in this never-ending routine we absoluteley hate. Or maybe we just don't see the sense in it. All of it. No matter what it is, we have to find out what it is and why it is aka what caused it. So what was it caused by? And is there something we can change? Can we do it ourselves or do we need help? That's all questions we should ask ourselves and not just "deal with it".
YOU ARE READING
Mental Health 101
RandomWhat does it mean not to feel anything? Why does this occur? What does it mean to wake up every day with the fear of being a failure? That and more things will be written about here. (This is no professional essay or anything like that, just though...
