Louis pov.
Life feels like a bottomless void. Letting me have no happiness or joy. I walk into my bathroom, knowing that I am alone. No one to tell me about the interviews I have next, or that I have to go to the studio to record some more. The more that I think about it the more I realize that everyone was right. He was my rock. The person that kept me alive. My one and only. Now that he's gone, I don't know If I can stay.
I need him. I miss him. I have heard the last words of so many, but I will never know his. I wasn't with him. He
Harry pov.
Watching Louis write the letter is one of the most heartbreaking things I could ever do. He looks broken, tired, sad. I want him to stay. stay. Be alive. I hate seeing him like this.
I am right next to him. I can almost smell him, feel him, his soft skin, and his wonderful scent. I miss his touch. Hearing him cry is one of the worst things, listening to his heartbreak. All the joy seemingly sucked out of him.
"You will die over and over again for the rest of my life. You are gone forever. I will never stop grieving you Harry because I will never stop loving you" He says. At that moment I realize how much has been on him the whole time. He sounds empty like there is nothing left.
In all honesty, I'm lonely. And I'm lonely in some horribly deep way and for a flash of an instant, I can see just how lonely, and how deep this feeling runs. And it scares the shit out of me to be this lonely. I really want to be with Louis, I really do. So much I hope he carries out his thoughts, we can be together again, we will both be happy, everything will be solved.
For so long I hid my deepest feelings so well I forgot where I put them. I forgot how much Louis mattered to me, but I remember now, I remember how much I love him. I just want him to come back. People think being alone makes you lonely, but I don't think that's true. Being surrounded by the wrong people is the loneliest thing in the world. Louis and I experienced that for so long, we both were partying and it made us forget how much it meant to us to be surrounded by the right people
When I left the amazing feeling of remembering had left with me because there was no longer anyone to remember with. It felt like losing the person you had the memories with meant losing the memory itself. As if the things we did together were less real and less important than they had been before I left.
I left my thoughts and I looked back down to Louis. Only to realize he was lying heavy on the bed, the color drained from his face, with a bottle of pills in his hand.
No words can describe my feelings when I saw Louis like this. He seemed so vulnerable and calmer than he had ever been In these past months.
Behind his eyes it's like I can see him trying to make a decision, all I can hope is that he makes the right one.
