A little love

Chapter 4

Alec tried to send more of his emotions down their link, but Jace blocked him off. Alec was shocked. They had argued before, much worse than this, but Jace had never blocked him out. Alec felt more desperately alone than ever.

He shook his head ferociously, reaching for the relationship he and Jace had shared for the better part of their lives. Jace shook him off.

"We are doing the right thing, the clave just can't see it." Alec wanted to scream. It didn't matter whether the clave saw it or not, the only thing they would be seeing would be white walls. "I'm going with Clary, either tell me why I shouldn't or leave us alone."

Alec flinched like he had been hit. He didn't even recognize the man in front of him. Where was his brother, the person who stayed up with him each night as he shook and sobbed, the man who had never forced him to try and speak?

He was gone, replaced by this stranger who was using the one thing that Alec was defenseless in against him. Jace froze. "Alec, I'm sorry I didn't mean-" Alec couldn't listen anymore, the buzzing was getting louder and louder.

Gasping for air, he fled, ignoring Clary and Jace as they called his name. Without thinking, he found himself going to the main office, currently housing Lydia. She had come to the institute quite recently and had complimented Alec on his quick response.

When the other shadowhunters explained that he was mute, that he was weak and pathetic, she defended him, saying that he might be mute but he was faster than them. She had Alec's respect, he admired her loyalty and strength, her determination to do what was necessary.

Remembering his manners, he tapped on the door. He barely felt like he was in control of himself, as though he were being controlled by strings. Bleary with sleep, Lydia opened the door.

"Alec? What's going on? Is the institute benign attacked?" Her hand reached for her stele, and Alec quickly shook his head, raising his palms. Lydia had discussed some gestures that he could use to give base messages, in the case of an emergency. He gave a sign of peace.

Relaxing slightly, Lydia rubbed the sleep from her eyes, meeting Alec with respect and patience. He quickly signed for a pen, and she passed him one.

*Jace and Clary are leaving.* Lydia read the message and nodded.

"Alright, do you know where they are planning to go or what they are going to do?" Alec shook his head, and Lydia pulled on a clean shirt as she moved. "I'll catch up to them. I don't doubt that you've already tried but I'll see if I can stop them."

Alec nodded respectfully, directing her to where he last saw them. He admired the new leader, not only did she treat everyone fairly, but she also trusted the competence of the shadowhunters.

The brunet felt his skin prickle with guilt, feeling like he had betrayed his parabatai. He ignored the feeling, reminding himself that he was doing what was best for both Jace and Clary. It might have stemmed from anger, but he trusted Lydia to act accordingly.

If she could stop them, then it was unlikely that she would make a report to the clave, he might have been fast enough. He mentally pleaded with Jace to not get heated and refuse. Alec felt helpless.

After a tense few minutes, Lydia returned. She looked as calm and collected as always, and Alec felt a wave of admiration for her.

"I got them to come back, and I won't make a report this time, but if it happens again I won't have a choice." Alec was so relieved that he thought he might drop to his knees, and he bowed his head. He handed her another piece of paper. She smiled softly.

"You're welcome. I know that must have been hard, I can't imagine having to go behind my parabatai, but we both know that it's for the best." Alec's chest tightened. "You are a good shadowhunter, I am glad to have you by my side."