Me. You. Us.

05. Smaltown boy

Twenty months after 'I do';

Theo curled over himself, hands resting on his knees and supporting his weight as he emptied his stomach - again - for what was the third time since he'd woken. There was nothing left. He was empty, void of spirit and fucking soul.

"Just be calm. We do not have much time" Malfoy had said when he'd woken up, dazed and confused, in a bed he didn't recognise and his wife nowhere to be seen. "I'm going to explain everything, but you need to be calm"

"What the fuck is going on?!" Theo had all but screamed as he'd sprung out of bed. "Where's Daph?!"

"I'm going to take you to her so you can say goodbye, and I'll come and collect you just before the Dark Lord requires us. You only have a few minutes to speak to her before ... before it's going to start"

As soon as Malfoy had explained what had happened in the time he'd been unconscious, and what was going to happen next, Theo had felt as though his life wasn't his own anymore.

It was wrong. A cruel joke, and he wished more than anything that after Daphne had attacked him, after he'd bashed his head on the concrete floor, that he'd just never woken up again.

Death would have been better than this, because at least then he knew he'd have a chance at being with her again. At least he knew, even in the smallest realm of possibilities, that this fucking gut-wrenching pain in his chest would be about to end.

"There has to be something we can do!" Theo had pleaded. "There has to be a way we can get her out-"

"There isn't"

Malfoy looked tired and more lost than Theo had seen him in a long time. He looked exhausted and drained, in both body and soul, and he had that fucking awful look on his face. That horrible stony 'dead behind the eyes' stare that he'd worn the day Voldemort had executed Narcissa and Lucius in front of him.

"You know there isn't, and so does Daphne" Malfoy had whispered. "There's ... there's nothing to be done. I'm sorry, Theodore. I truly am, but this is going to happen"

Calm? How the fuck was he supposed to be calm, knowing what was going to happen?!

How the fuck was he supposed to stand there with a fucking vacant expression on his face and act as though his entire world wasn't breaking apart?!

The last few minutes had felt like torture, a cruel and malevolent play that was made up of his own worst fears. 

He didn't want to watch this. He wanted no part in this theatre, and yet, he didn't have a choice.

He felt as though he was bound to a chair and having his eyelids pried open by someone in the next row. He couldn't look away. He was powerless and helpless. Forced to watch and feel his heart break with each new act of this sick play unfolded.

Even though he was a free man, he felt trapped in every sense of the word. Even though there were no shackles bound around his wrists and no chains were dragging behind him, he felt their weight nonetheless.

Descending into the dungeon, taking the stone steps one at a time, felt like walking to the execution of his soul, and, in a way, it was.

His heart was breaking, he could feel the split in the middle of the fragile organ deepening with every step he took, and when he reached the bottom, when he saw her, it would surely break and what little life he had left in him would die.

He would never be the same after today. Nothing would be the same, ever again -

As soon as he heard her voice, Theo felt sick. She was singing.