Personalities in the Dark

• Chapter 4 •

"When is he coming?"

"Soon."

They walked back to Elie's marine-themed room with glow-in-the-dark twinkling stars. Killua tucked him in, kissed his forehead, and sat in the little space next to him.

Killua sifted through Elie's hair.

The boy seemed to be in a daze, looking at the stars, unblinking. "How's school, baby?" It was the best time to know more about Elie's school life.

Lately, Killua only focused on what Gon was hiding. Elie's in a critical stage of youth that requires both of their attention. And they lacked, unfortunately. 

However, it's not too late to mend the relationship. "It's going great," Elie replied.

"Really?" Killua continued sifting through the smooth black strands of his chubby boy's hair. His eyes focused on the light freckles on Elie's skin, making his heart heavier.

He has a lot of similarities to Gon.

That sometimes it causes him to worry instead of being happy.

"You haven't befriended anyone?"

"Well…" Elie looked around the room, obviously avoiding Killua's look. "No one likes me because I'm so fat."

Killua stopped sifting through his hair. What? Elie's not that fat? He's just a little chubby. He's the cutest child on earth! 

How could they?!

"For real?" He asked. Without blinking, analyzing Elie's glacial eyes that almost brimmed with tears.

"They avoid me in PE, Daddy." Those motherfuckers. "And, there is that boy who always follows me around and calls me fat. I know it was him who spread the word about me. Everyone likes him." Elie took a shaky breath, shielding his eyes away from Killua, "And no one likes me. They like him and he doesn't like me, so they don't like me, get it?"

Killua looked away just in time, Elie looked up at him. His puppy eyes always got to Killua. "What's that boy's name?"

"Drake." Elie sniffled and wiped his face with his blue blanket. Killua tried to ignore the filthy action because his son isn't ready for discipline, so he only puffed his cheeks and acted like he didn't notice. "He's so tall, Daddy, and he has black hair that he ties in a bun. He looks like a gangster! Or a son of a gangster!"

"You talk about him like you took a liking to him."

"I don't! He's scary! I hate him!"

"Is he in the same class as you?"

"No, he's older." Elie snuggled next to Killua's thigh, and the latter continued to sift through his hair. "How can I lose weight?"

"You're fine like that, chubs." Elie sat up, cheeks blazed in red as he glared at Killua.

"No, I'm not! Stop calling me that! I am not fine!" 

"Throwing a tantrum on me, kid?" Killua grabbed both of Elie's cheeks and glared daggers at him. His head was fixed by Killua's strong and bony hands and both their foreheads were strongly touched when Killua finally said, "You're ten years old. You're aging one day every day. You're growing and changing." 

Elie didn't blink, he only listened and stared at Killua's deep cerulean eyes. "Chubby or not, fat or thin, pretty or ugly, you are the one who decides what you are. Whoever hates you will always hate you and resent you whatever you do and whatever you change. Never, I say never, change for someone else because you won't be accepted that way." 

Elie's eyes brimmed with tears again. Maybe scared of his dad? Maybe sad because of the harsh truth? Whatever's the reason, he's now crying again.

"Most of the successful people changed for themselves. They have a personality that everyone admires. If you want to change something in you, change it for you. People are easily swayed by society. You could make them love you, and you could make them hate you. If you don't love yourself, no one will love you." Killua tightened his lips and released, "And you won't be able to see who loves you either because you lack confidence, Elie."

Elie sobbed aloud, that's when Killua engulfed him in a tight hug, squeezing his body tight. "It's okay to cry, so cry as much as you want. Elie, people who accept you as you are, these are the people you should love and fight for. Never change for anyone else. Only for yourself."

Elie nodded his head into the hug and after a few minutes, he was dragged into a deep slumber. 

The next morning rolled by.

Killua, as always, was hanging in the kitchen. He's done making Elie's lunchbox and his morning coffee. "Elie! Wake up!" Outloud, Killua yelled. 

"I'm up, Daddy!" The reply came back, obviously vigorous like Gon. 

Oh, Gon.

He didn't remember ending the chat with him last night. He quickly turned on his phone and looked at the chat.

"Where are you?"

"Killua?"

"Can you please stay with me more?"

"Are you asleep?"

For some reason, dread crawled into Killua's heart. He's not used to receiving weird messages from Gon. 

And by weird messages is for Gon to beg him to stay awake and be with him.

There was nothing as important to Gon as Killua's health, which seemed suspicious. Did something happen to him?

Gon used to fight with Killua whenever he stayed up to finish writing a chapter. They argued a lot about staying up late and about holding the phone. Maybe that changed because Gon's away.

"G'morning." Killua texted. But Gon didn't see it.

Probably he's driving now.

"Morning, Daddy."

"Morning, Chubs." Elie put his backpack on the empty seat and sat on the chair. A plate full of waffles awaited him.

Killua sat on the opposite seat with a coffee mug. He stared at his son, at his troubled expression while he stared at the plate of waffles.

The boy fidgeted, almost too obvious to read. He didn't know whether he should eat all the waffles or a few or not at all. "Daddy, about yesterday…"

Killua waited, sipping from his huge mug a few of his dark coffee.

"I want to change."

Killua crossed a leg over the other and his gaze bore into his son, who seemed a little nervous. "If we change, we have to change for ourselves. And to change for the better not the worse, right?"

"Right."

"I think I have to lose some weight for myself!"

"You're still young, so don't worry."

"I'm not worrying, Daddy. I just want to be healthy like you and Dad." Killua tilted his head and seized Elie's words carefully.

"I still want to eat what I like to eat!" Elie looked down at his plate, "just with a smaller amount."

Killua shut his eyes for a moment. "If that's what you want, I'll always support you, Chubs. And you'll always be chubs to me." 

Elie giggled and dug into his plate. "I have to change for the better just like you and Dad!"

Like Gon and he…

Was their change a good change like Elie thinks?

Killua stared at his coffee, speechless. He wanted to agree with his son who was happily devouring the biggest waffle out of the three. 

But Killua suspects that the life-changing decision that Gon made is good from the outside but all rotten from the inside.

And…

He hopes he's wrong.

•••

A/N: I love this chapter so much, bro wtf.

Things are gonna CHANGE a lot from now on. Bro im so excited to continue writing this story wtf wtf.

Imma ask this again:

Why is Gon acting so suspicious? Gimme some theories if you have any.

Theories are important in this novel, I wanna see them flooding.

What do you think of Elie?

Killua's amazing bet!